Need to rant and listening ears. I don't know what should I do? I felt really really tired for my marriage. I just gave birth two month ago, and alot of things has happened. It is driving me on the verge of leaving my husband. My husband is a guy that love his 'face', everytime he expect me to suck it up even i was treated unfairly by him. So that, I won't embarrassed him infront of his colleagues or relatives when we had an argument. He always think i am a bad wife, a bad daughter in law, where he always compare me to his friends' wife. But all his friends wife is all stay home mom, who had time to do all the housework and taking care of the child. What's more, i am earning more than him. Before our marriage, when we had an arguments, he would use vulgarities and be rough on me. And when i want to leave, he told me he promised not to do it again. When i got married to him when i found out i was pregnant. I told him that my parents is fine with having a simple rom and a reception. So that we could use the saving that we both save for our child. Ended up his mother keep saying that i will regret if i dont held a grand wedding and walk down the aisle. Ended up we spent 30k of our saving preparing for a wedding that i did not want. I went along with it so to respect his parent's wishes. During my pregnancy, it wasn't a smooth pregnancy. My husband was not always there for me as he has work commitment.There was one time i woke up with blood on my panties and i was not due yet. I was send to the hospital by my dad, stayed in the emergency room from 5am till 12pm while my dad waiting for me outside. I was the one who told my husband, to go ahead for his work as it was a rare opportunities for him. Closer to my due date, his boss asked him if he could go oversea as his company lack of manpower. I too, say its okay. I tried to be as understanding as much as i could, as i do not want to hinder with his career. But ended up, he branded me as a bad wife. When we had argument, he once pushed me which made me fall and luckily i did not suffered miscarriage. He told me that whatever he said and does to me, is i deserve it. When ever i have bruises from him being rough at me, i always covered up by lying to his parents/friends/my parents that i knock on to the drawer, i fell.. Am i a bad wife? Bad daughter in law? Because his mom never ask me do housework or cook, when i did his parents tell me not to? He degrade me, he scolded me and he uses his hand on me. I am really tired of this relationship. He told me, if i dont talk back or quarrel with him. He won't become like this and what i received from him is what i deserve. He expect me to be good, to keep quiet and to be understanding. I did all that, i kept mum about what happened from his family, i become understanding towards what he wanted, i took care of my child during my confinement while he went back to work because his boss need him during his paternity leave. He is dedicated towards his friend, his colleagues. I always try and try to be a good wife, so finally he could just treat me right without all these physical and verbally abuse from him. But the result is still the same, he told me I cannot be angry, if i am angry then i will received all these. So i should be emotionless? Is being angry is wrong?. I really don't know how i am feeling now. Depressed? Disappointed? Upset? What have i done wrong to him that I received all these? Im so confused and tired. Thanks for listening.. :)