.. I want to know who is at fault here. When I was away from my husband for my delivery back in India, he had stayed in a shared accommodation with a family of 4 (a couple and two daughters). The wife apparently had discreetly flirted with my husband which my husband neither encouraged nor discouraged (according to me, he should've vacated the house then and there).. later on she apologised and when he shifted to a separate house because I was coming back after my delivery along with my then 5 month old, she called him once for lunch . He went (She even asked his choice of sweet and he told something for that as well) it's a mistake according to me.. he should've ignored it.. so this is the background .. now my son is nearly 18 months old Now few weeks back, we were in the process of shifting our house and then I came to know that she had packed all his kitchen stuff when he had actually moved out from their place. I got really pissed off because he gave her such a long rope when this should've ended long ago. So, I just stopped talking and told him A few harsh words.. my husband started full on crying, breaking his phone saying I am torturing Him constantly and cribbing constantly. I immediately felt bad and went to console him. He pushed me and I got hit on head (no major injury). But I was also upset and I walked out of the house saying I m never coming back. He followed me and then when I came back home, he hit me. Slapped and pushed. Now we have moved on it must be 3 weeks since the incident and he goes to this off mood where he keeps an irritated face (like he is disgusted to look at me) and says I can't believe you made me cry and you made me follow you around also. No wife does like this.. I have asked him for apology a million times. He thinks him hitting me isn't wrong at all. I am definitely sorry I put him through the situation where he had started crying. But I am changing myself a lot after knowing where I went wrong (for example I spoke harshly but I have never spoken harshly after that incident no matter how much I was provoked ) but I feel he is taking me for granted. He also keeps telling me that he'll never forget the incident I have a younger sister who is yet to be married. I don't want to move out of this marriage and soil Her life. Do you have any alternative solution ? How can I handle this? I really regret what I did and I feel I am Responsible for setting this marriage right. Update this: he told me now that only because I fight with him, our marriage has completely spoilt. He also spit on my face saying this is how I'll treat you if you fight with me.

Anonymous

7 Replies

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Frankly, if both of you cannot talk to each other and sort things out in equal terms, it will harm your sanity and the upbringing of your child. No one has the right to hit anyone and still thinks that it's not a wrong. Spitting into someone's face is degrading, uncivilised and rude. I will not tolerate such behaviour. It takes 2 to make a marriage work but it seems this marriage is one sided. Secondly, if he can hit you once, he can hit you again and again. Lastly, with such an environment, your child may deemed such behaviour as a norm. I will by all means give up on this loveless, fingerpointing and abusive marriage. However, it will be good to go for marriage counselling since a child has already been born and both of you needs to come together as one to make this marriage work.

Anonymous

8y ago

I used to think that minor violence like slapping and pushing is wrong but after experiencing a broken marriage I don't think that way anymore. No I'm not a woman beater. Let me share my story. My wife was staying with me for 2 months, everyday we quarrel and there was times that she was carrying our son and she ask me to beat her if I dare. At that very moment I fear for myself because this person is trying to provoke an incident so that she can use it against me and demonize me as a ph

The advise from the person above has very good pointers. However based on what you mentioned, I'm not sure if I'm right to say but your husband is manipulating you. Seems like there has been underlying issues for a long time. Whatever he says, is merely the surface. There is more to it, and only he will know. Please go for counselling if you guys want this to work. Otherwise it would be meaningless. Like I said the person above has very good pointers.

It is not right that he hit you. Disagreements happen in marriages and arguments can happen. But there's a line, and he crossed it by using physical violence. Now he's blaming you for all of it. If you cried, would he blame himself? I think you should stop blaming yourself and take stock of the situation. Have you considered speaking to a therapist or a counsellor? I feel that will be a good solution.

Whatever problems are there, he shouldn't hit you. How was your marriage before this baby and he staying with someone else. Have you considered therapy? But anyway no matter how bad things are, there should be no physical violence. EVER. that is never tolerated. No spitting. nothing physical.

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It takes two hands to clap. It takes 2 willing parties to maintain and keep a marriage going. Both parties will have their own faults. We should not play the blaming game.

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he shouldn't have hit you. period. if you wanna salvage, will you consider going for counseling?

Home Random Talk admin please post anonymous i want know who fault when i was away from husband delivery back in india had stayed in shared accommodation with family 4 couple two daughters wife apparently had discreetly flirted with husband which husband neither encouraged nor discouraged according shouldve vacated house then there later apologised when shifted separate house because i was coming back after delivery along with then 5 month old called him once lun