My in-laws are coming to stay with me for a month and I am a little worried. I have my baby on a schedule - meals, baths, play, sleep. This allows me to work and have some quality time with my husband. However, my in-laws like my daughter to have a routine more aligned with theirs -- she should nap when they nap, then stay up late so that they can have more time with her. They are lovely people - but i really don't want her schedule to be upset. How can I speak with them about this?

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Only mothers can understand that how difficult it is to set the schedule of the baby and how much hard work it takes. Also, because your own time too depends on the schedule of the baby, so it becomes more important for us to stick by it. But no matter what it is for us, we have to give in to the fact that since we live in a society and there would be many instances when there will be people at home and the baby's schedule would go haywire. And in this case, if the guests are the kid's grandparents, you cannot do much. I think in todays' times, when we already have nuclear set ups, so whenever we get a chance to give the children the chance to spend time with their grandparents, we should allow it. Do not be too finicky, babies adapt very fast. When your inlaws will go back you can get her back to her routine.

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Agree with Evelyn. Speak to them and explain to them that your baby's routine has been established and there should be minimal disruptions to that schedule. I think they should be able to understand. Also try to highlight that it will be very difficult to re-establish new routines every month (since they will be staying with you for a month). During their stay, you can enlist their help whenever possible (while they are not napping) so that they will get to spend time with your daughter (instead of having her stay up at night). All the best!

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i understand your concern, but think about it - your in-laws want to do this as they really love your baby and want to spend as much time as possible with their grandkid. isn't that lovely? :) unless they are making your child sleep really late or causing too much exhaustion and disruption to her, i think you can let them take care of this for the time they are around - after all, it's only for a month. once they leave, you will need about two weeks to get your child back in routine.

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You say your in-laws are nice people so I believe they will understand if you put your point across to them. A little shift in routine is okay because they are there for only a month and it is bound to happen that they would like to spend maximum time with their grandchild. Plus with them spending a lot of time with your daughter you get a little more time for yourself and your husband!! Make the most of it :) You shouldn't worry too much.

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I think you should be honest with them about what you think and that it is better for their grandchild to stick to an established routine. Maybe during a causal dinner, just chit chat with them and let them know the benefits of having a routine such as baby will be less cranky when she follows routine and have sufficient nap time. I believe your in laws will want their grandchild to be healthy and happy.

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I suggest that tell them politely that she has a set schedule and it was very difficult to set this routine for her and again if you will change that routine it will again be such a task, plus it is takes a toll and the baby and she becomes quite cranky and then doesn't eat well. If required, you can tell your husband to pitch in and make them understand.

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Some issues are not worth fighting about, especially when it comes to kinship. If your in-laws cannot compromise on an arrangement, take a bit more time after their visit to re-adjust baby's schedule. Meanwhile talk with baby to pre-empt her about PIL's visit; I'm sure she'll be excited!

You might ease the routine for a few days as your in-laws will be coming only for a few days. Let your daughter enjoy with her grandparents some unrestricted and unstructured time. Once they go away again everything will be as per schedule.

Be upfront and honest about the situation. If you're not up to talking to them, let your husband do it. If it's for the benefit of the baby, no loving grandparent would say no. Good luck!

thanks