My daughter is 5 months old and my husband has not bonded with her at all. After six years of marriage, he feels like our relationship is gone because of the baby. He tells me he's not ready to be a father, and he seems very depressed. I've told him he needs to get help or I'll leave. What else can I do? Please help.

Please don't threaten him that way. I can totally relate to him. I am a father of a 2 month old baby and I'm suffering from depression too. The relationship with the mother is strained and the romance has faded. I'm battling myself each day trying to be a good dad and a loving husband and it's all I can do to tick off the boxes of what's required of me. Friends told me that I will be a loving dad when I hold the newborn in my arms. That did not happen. I checked with some other fathers too. Many of them whose kids are 3 or 4 year old now. Truth of the matter is, and I'm glad that they were honest, men don't bond with baby as easily as mothers do. Some don't even like carrying their own children. It's not till the child turn one or two that they start to interact with them. Lots of time, we men don't have an avenue to speak up on this topic because of society's expectation of us. So we suffer in silence. Your husband isn't the only one but I can only hope that he hangs in there to try. I was honest about my feelings to my wife and while I know she's disappointed, I'm glad she hasn't added more ill sentiments by fighting me. On my part I will keep trying to do what's right and expected of me and in time feel the joy of parenthood. Though admittedly, that feeling may never come. Most men aren't honest with their wives cos they don't want to disappoint them, but amongst guys only feedback session, these truths surfaces. I hope all will go well with you and your husband. If he needs someone to talk to, can always contact me.