Being mistaken as my kid’s helper

Question

Hi Mummies! I just need a space to vent, today we went to see doctor for my daughter’s appointment tgther w/ our helper. As we went inside the clinic the Doctor immediately talked to my helper as she thought she was the Mom. I ignored it for a while but the nagging thought quite stressed me out. I’ve poured it out to my husband but he just laughed and make fun of me. Actually, my kids are all exactly look like my husband and never took anything from me, especially the skin color, they both quite fair skinned. Ever since my eldest has been born people i don’t know that i come across with would think Im the nanny looking after my ‘own’ kids. What a bummer. I thought i would feel less stressed and can finally have some ‘me time’ and just generally take care of myself after we hired a helper, but turns out. I am still tired.My helper can only do single task at a time. if she’s taking care of the kids she cant do any household chores and vice versa. Although i cant complain about her ability to be patient w/my kids. That part she’s fantastic. But cleaning aside, she doesn’t really maintain the cleanliness of the house which I find not very hygienic if u got a little crawler around the house right? So what i did is I just help her out w/ some of the houseworks if I find that Im not contented w/ her cleaning. Which took hours most of the time and very exhausted afterwards. Another thing is that whenever we go out she likes to outdress me, making me look like Im the helper . I dont really know how to confront her about it. I have talked to one of my friend and she just commented on why would my  helper even wear a freaking dress in the park, while she see me on shorts and slippers.I really need advise on this coz u know sometimesi feel that my self esteem is at the lowest of the low especially after having kids.#advicepls

Anonymous · Answer

I cannot advise anything cause I would definitely feel the same way as you. Agreed on the part to give and take for cleaning and managing baby since we are all humans. For the outdress part, I would start wearing matching clothings with baby and keep addressing myself as mummy and her as auntie or kakak whenever we are outside. We cannot control what they want to wear as long as it’s not those revealing outfits but we can change what we wear. Start getting matching outfits for parks and malls, or just leave her at home. Alternatively, have a nice talk with your helper. Address your concerns to her and let her know how you feel and you feel upset. Let her know that you’re not trying to control what she wants to wear and you can understand all females wants to wear nice clothings and she doesn’t have much chance since she’s home daily, she can wear her nice outfits during off days.