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Hi mummies, how do your cope with your confinement? My mum did confinement for me for my no1, it was a terrible experience that we(husband and i) had. She is very strict and traditional. Wants me to wear long sleeves and pants(ok im fine about it) but she doesnt allow me to bathe or on fan especially to slp. I developed rashes on my body and yet she told me that everyone went through that, it is normal to have rashes, after confinement it will go off by itself. I showed her articles frm Eu Yan Sang stating about the myths of not bathing etc, even approach my own trusted tcm clinic sinseh which all the while he is our tcm sinseh since young said that it is ok to bathe and keep myself clean, as long as i dry myself thoroughly after bathe. Also, avoid direct contact with the wind(frm fan and aircon), all these are fine. Yet my mum still denies and said all these are rubbish. I had several heated arguments with her alrd. Now with no2, im stress about confinement again so is my husband. Food wise every meals are the same. No plain water, no fruits no veg(only selected 1 or 2 choices) She nags and nags, i know she meant well but how to survive with her "logic". Ok, everyday my meals definitely comes with ginger with steamed fish and a plate of rice, good times there will be additional 1 plate of ginger with broccoli. Thats all. She cooked the same every meal for lunch and dinner, expecting me to finish all the food. She says no soup, soup bla bla bla like not gd or i cant drink soup. After probably 10days im really sick of the food and couldnt even eat any yet she nags and scolds non stop. Complaining to all her friends and relatives abt hw "disobeying" i am. Then some of her nosy friends will add on to the nagging. I don't know what else can i do or say to change her mind or even negotiate with her. It is really horrible experience on my end. Trustable source and tcm i hav also approached and showed it to her. I am really stress about my confinement than anything else. Her best line is " i also survived, you think you are the only one doing confinement? Confinement is meant to have discipline. Whether you like it or not ok! I am doing for your own gd, you not happy then leave" :( Any advise please

37 Replies

no confinment nanny for me...just my sis give a hand to help up d confinment period for 44 days...prepare my meals n take care of my house chores where necessary till my huby comes hme fm work.....i call up my aunt tradisional massager to massage m for 1 wk...she will take care of the wrapping my tummy...tradisional herbs to be drank n herbs paste to apply on my forehead(dat to apply till 44 days) gentle bath massage for my newborn baby with oitment.

Yea order confinement food, surely is more variety ! Some vege are ok to eat during confinement. I bathed with herbal water * but not everyday. I found it quite pointless( and troublesome to bathe from bucket ) as in general still sweaty as no direct wind from fan. My CL allowed me to turn on aircon tho * u can get the herbal packs at various places e.g. Medical hall I believe

VIP Member

All moms want the best for their children and it sounds to me that your Mom loves you very much! I also had my mom and mil over for confinement and I must it is one of the biggest regrets of my life. if given another chance I would definitely hire a proper confinement lady. that said I still appreciate all that my mom n mil did but there were stifling moments.

Any way u can tell her that u're getting a confinement lady and then tell her u're easing her load? Like, she's getting on in years and should rest more and then u'll be using a CL also.. that sort of excuses thing? I really feel for u, my mum nags a bit too but I ignored. My mil also made red date tea but I can't stand having to keep chugging sweet stuff.

How about hiring your own confinement lady? I rather save n thrift to pay for a confinement lady than have unhappiness w my mum. I think tt im old enough to make my own decisions. My mum also think the same way so she doesnt nag at me. The best way is not get her involve in confinement. She will be upset but she got to reflect as well. You must b firm!

my mum and mil did for my first baby. both very strick and naggy. i went thru almost the same as u... and, yes, i agree, i had a culture shock for my first confinement! Thatā€™s bcos i am a new mum! After 4 rounds of confinement now preggy with 5th baby, i would say, I decide my own rule. U say what u want. But I would not really ā€œtouch waterā€ or wash hair so frequent. Cos i really experience bone pain for a year when i wash with cold water while in the hospital. I think there is some logic to all the confinement practices. i asked and challenged and now i know that it all depends on your body how strong you are. Cos truely, straight after giving birth, our body is weak and vulnerable. And important thing is it is beginning to ā€œseal upā€, or ā€œclose backā€ all that has been ā€œopenedā€ or stretched for so many months. And for asian chinese body, we are not very strong like ang mohs. so it does pay off well to be careful not to get the ā€œconfinement windā€ into your body by avoiding (temperature

VIP Member

Had a confinement nanny for my second confinement, it was a better experience than living with my parents for my first confinement. Different generation, different expectations. Since you already had a terrible experience with your first confinenent, don't go through it again. I would recommened either CL or catering.

Super Mum

Is your mother very healthy? (no backache, rarely fall sick etc) My MIL insisted that I cannot shower and must cover up during confinement but my husband helped me to retaliate by saying that her body is still weak after obeying all the confinement rules. She cannot fight back and I manage to break the confinement rules.

You can try DIY confinement. Order confinement meals but you would have to take care of baby yourself. My mother helped me with 2weeks of confinement cooking and household chores. I took care of baby myself throughout. The rest of the 2 weeks, I ate whatever l cooked, including taking care of my first born.

VIP Member

CL for me, she could take care of bb while i just concentrate on making milk & resting. anyway i think the myths about wearing long sleeves, no direct wind & no bathing originated from a cold country with no modern water & plumbing system. in Sg it's so hot, very unlikely to get chilled at home.

VIP Member

We did confinement on our own. Helper cook confinement dishes based on confinement recipe. I will tell her what I feel like eating then she will cook. Took care of baby on my own and washing of clothes, other household chores by helper. We had some cheat days too where we dine out šŸ¤—

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