Hi mummies, how do your cope with your confinement? My mum did confinement for me for my no1, it was a terrible experience that we(husband and i) had. She is very strict and traditional. Wants me to wear long sleeves and pants(ok im fine about it) but she doesnt allow me to bathe or on fan especially to slp. I developed rashes on my body and yet she told me that everyone went through that, it is normal to have rashes, after confinement it will go off by itself. I showed her articles frm Eu Yan Sang stating about the myths of not bathing etc, even approach my own trusted tcm clinic sinseh which all the while he is our tcm sinseh since young said that it is ok to bathe and keep myself clean, as long as i dry myself thoroughly after bathe. Also, avoid direct contact with the wind(frm fan and aircon), all these are fine. Yet my mum still denies and said all these are rubbish. I had several heated arguments with her alrd. Now with no2, im stress about confinement again so is my husband. Food wise every meals are the same. No plain water, no fruits no veg(only selected 1 or 2 choices) She nags and nags, i know she meant well but how to survive with her "logic". Ok, everyday my meals definitely comes with ginger with steamed fish and a plate of rice, good times there will be additional 1 plate of ginger with broccoli. Thats all. She cooked the same every meal for lunch and dinner, expecting me to finish all the food. She says no soup, soup bla bla bla like not gd or i cant drink soup. After probably 10days im really sick of the food and couldnt even eat any yet she nags and scolds non stop. Complaining to all her friends and relatives abt hw "disobeying" i am. Then some of her nosy friends will add on to the nagging. I don't know what else can i do or say to change her mind or even negotiate with her. It is really horrible experience on my end. Trustable source and tcm i hav also approached and showed it to her. I am really stress about my confinement than anything else. Her best line is " i also survived, you think you are the only one doing confinement? Confinement is meant to have discipline. Whether you like it or not ok! I am doing for your own gd, you not happy then leave" :( Any advise please

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if I have a choice to redo my confinement, I would have stick to catering confinement food, or having a CL to help me. I bathed everyday, washed my hair, cook, clean, care for baby all by myself for my boy. No CL, no confinement food, no nothing. just trial and error and was overly tired.

VIP Member

If I could turn back time, I will not hire a CL and not staying with my MIL after giving birth. Both of them caused me to have post natal depression. I fired my CL after two weeks and I told my husband if it is either me & baby or his mom! Think catering confinement food will be better...

Yes better to cater your confinement meals outside and bathe with packed herbs but this time round it might be more challenging for you as you need to take care both and elder and younger child, if someone esle other than your mum can help you with this it will be good.

VIP Member

omg. confinement nanny pls. i had very bad exp w my mom trying to help but not being helpful. soup is milk booster, pls drink more. i had 2 weeks of non stop tearing during confinement because of my mom. what i did was i complain to my aunt and she intervened. 😂

6y ago

my mil not so strict. but she over promise herself to do confinement for me. so she ended up falling sick and made my son fall sick. 😓

If you don’t like it, just hire a confinement lady. Why bother having your mom to do confinement again if you are not happy from the first one ? I break all the rules when I had a confinement lady. She was cool and do whatever I ask.

I had arguments wif my mum too during confinement.. I almost had depression bcos of tat. She dun even noe! Y dun u try cater confinement food for e whole month? den u dun need hire confinement lady. I'm gonna try it for my no. 2!

I engage a confinement nanny... confinement should be about testing and regaining, be it in terms of mentally or physically... I suggest that you stay happy and engage a confinement lady if u feel that ur mum is too strict

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I am also concern about how we should eat and do after giving birth, i am not tradional and as my thinking can we eat whatever like same before pregnant and take shower, stay in air con room, appreciate your advices

Do confinement yourself, cater confinement food, hire part time cleaner to clean house , u just focus on yourself n baby