In this situation, you can only try explaining your POV to your husband. Let him know you’re not trying to restrict your MIL access to visit baby and know that she meant well, just that it’s your first baby and you would like to get the say of deciding on what baby uses or what you want to do and not being restricted of everything. Tell him you want to prevent him from being sandwiched between his wife and mother, indirectly hinting him to get his mom to keep her advices to herself. If you tell him bluntly he might think you dislike his mom or something so try to sugar coat it. If all thing fails, tell him you would like to move back to your parents place for a period of time as you don’t want to risk having PPD over daily stress.
Man it would be hard for you. For your own sanity and mental health, best to slow talk with your husband and really explain why you prefer not for her to come over. Do explain that unnecessary stress/opinion/advise can also lead to post partum depression. Talking from experience. For some reason MIL will always be the root cause of depression. Even if to them, they’re “helping” you. Esp if it’s your first pregnancy. Or can ask yiur mum to come over instead?.
As hard as it can be, tell a firm NO to your husband. You need to seek alternative to persuade him. Eg, hire a helper/nanny or you prefer your mom to help because she would be familiar with your living habits (and it’s easier to communicate with our own mothers). You need a valid point to push this mil plan away.
I see. Maybe you can use the excuse of lack of living space at home? It’s ok if your mil is only here to visit (hinting your husband that it’s cannot be a long stay) but make it FIRM that your mother will be in charge of the newborn and your wellbeing. I was like you, didn’t want any nonsense or tiring myself to explain why this and why that to my mil, so I told my husband that I want my mom to be with me during confinement. Best of luck to you!
Nom your baby your body, your sanity. No staying.
Anonymous