Mil shows favoritism towards her daughter's child

Dear Mummy, Calm down and take deep breath. Its not easy to be a Mummy so you are not alone. People do play favouritism. The person can be own parents, siblings, teachers and anyone else. In your case it happens to be your mil. They are called in laws for a reason, it means under the eye of law they have become our mum or dad. For the longest time we can remember, dil and mil relationship are one of the toughest and most sensitive relationship to manage. Things that are casually said means nothing to our mum but might means alot to our mil, vice versa perse. Your mil could genuinely don't like baby or it's a result to retaliate for something you say or do unknowingly and unintentionally when she interact with the baby initially so she decided to wash her hands off or the simple fact she definately favour her daughter over you. And truth to be told, you might be facing with another set of challenge when you mil start to get hands on with your son cos it means that you might start to hear disagreements and challenges on your parenting and the way you care for you kid. This is not because shes your mil its just generation gap and different family culture. This might be happening to your sil now but because that's her mum she can rebuke and tell her mum off in any way she likes and your mil won't be offended. I stayed with my in laws too. Life is not like a bed of roses, I do breakdown but I will constantly remind myself to take deep breathes and look at how fortunate I am to be blessed with my lovely kids. No expectations is the key to your situation so that you will feel happier. Go easy on the chores and food, source for alternatives help like catering for food, engaging part time helpers or ask your mum for help instead and do discuss with your hub before implementing. Bear in mind the last person to correct or teach your mil what to do is never going to be us 'the dil', it will just make things worse. So just rant to chanel like this or to whoever you deem fit to release stress but outside the radar of your mil. Mummy, all the best and enjoy your motherhood and 'dil hood'.

This might be an unpopular opinion, but u still gotta consider this to make your stay with her bearable - be self-reliant AND ignore her completely. Yes, I agree that while she's not obligated to jaga your child while you're engaged with something, the least she could do is to attend when your child cry murder. Logically, she could hear your son even with her door closed, but she has made her choice not to. And tbh, there's nothing you can say or do to make her feel 'guilty' or whatever... She doesn't want means she doesn't want. Then comes your next question (which makes any mummy blow) - what kind of grandmother she is by doing (unfair) favouritism things like that? And the sad (or sick) truth is that kinda grandmother does exist, and it is unfortunate for your son. U will keep on thinking about her and how she treats your son, and u will keep on being unhappy and upset as long as ure staying with her. If I'm you, I won't be bothered with her. I will do things on my own like she's invincible. I will of cos tell my hb about it. Place cameras at all blind spots to capture my baby's safety (and to capture her in case I need evidence for my hb to see). And if she needs help, I'd say, "Sorry, my hands are full with my own baby. SIL kids are big enough. I'm sure you can manage." Then I would take my child and rest in my room. Let her handle her own situations.

Perhaps you would want to share this with your husband. Do what you can at the best of your ability to do anything everything for your child. If you could tell her off with your spouse around to let it out it will be great to clear some dispute in the air. I mean not everyone will have neither good or bad MIL. If there's no helping hand do what you can do. You can also see the pattern of time when your son wake up, eat, play, sleep/nap, bath, etc. If you can bath with her then you try to do it all together with him. Do your chores when his asleep. Do whatever you can without her help. While i understand that we, mum need helping hand, but on the other side if you are not getting any then it is better to do on our own with minimal help. If you really can't then get your husband to look after. Alternatively, to put your little one with your mum. Ignoring your MIL is the best options and dont let it affect you. However, we, as DIL also feels that we need to be treated like one. There shouldn't be any form of favourtism between in laws and own children as well as grandchildren. Hope that you will mend situations together and be better. Virtual hugs and stay strong 🤗❤

Hey mama, I truly empathise with you and I am sorry you are experiencing what you described above. That must be so fustrating and hurtful to feel that your MIL isn’t helping and seems to play favourites. It could be that MIL is just not fond of babies? I even know of fathers who don’t enjoy the baby stage and switch off completely, but when the kids are older (6 above), they seem to be the most attentive and doting dad! Was your mother in law as involved with her other grand kids when they were babies? If I ever you, I would have hubby speak to his mum and ask her how come she seems to not want to be so involved in her grandsons life, and to really find out what the root cause is.

I know what I am going to tell you is easy said than done but the only way to have a happy baby is to have a happy mummy, you can’t control people around you but you can control your thoughts n feelings,Stop comparing. It’s not doing any good n Stop expecting from your mil , think you are living without her n have to manage stuff on ur own for your baby. Speak to your husband n share your feelings with him maybe he will help ..make your mil non existent it will surely make u feel better 🙂

Keep calm mummy. I feel you. Mine is much WORST! My MIL opted to take care of the adopted son of my SIL instead of taking care of our son (the one and only original grandson of the clan) can u imagine the pain we’re feeling right now. But it’s fine. Good thing my husband is always there to support me and take care of us every single day. Those kinds of MIL sucks! Let’s just do our motherhood with our husbands not with them. Cheers!

Dear mummy, have you consider to place your child in a childcare? Since your MIL scared to take care of your child, then don’t let her tc bah. Just making it right, Our MIL isn’t tasked to help us tc our child (their grand childrens). They don’t owe us anything in the first place. It’s our own responsibility to tc our own child.

talk to ur husband.. if he dnt believe install a mini camera as prove ... if really cnt take it thn bring yr bby to ur own parents house until u hv ur own.. not easy but ur strong so u can do it ok.. if she ask u take care her other grandkid juz take ye bby and leave bcuz tht is not yr job .

Have u ever ask her to help u look after your baby while you’re busy with something? May be try asking. Communication will work. She’s in the room with close door she might think u r with ur baby and she doesn’t want to be busy body. Some dil don’t like mil take care of the kid.

My mother in law is horrible too. She only cares about my sister in law’s son. Actually. My entire in laws are horrible. 😂 I truly understand how you feel. No point arguing with her. Just try to move out soon. Meantime, Hang in there. 💗