I'm feeling awful. I'm such a lousy mother. I snap at my son all the time even though i love him to bits! I lose my temper with both my kids. I wished i had more patience. My mental condition is NOT me. How can i ever explain that to anyone? My best is not enough.

You're not alone. We have our moments when we can't contain our frustration. I admit I've yelled at my own kid (and she's only 4 years old!), but I always say sorry afterward. But come to think of it... that sounds much like what abusive spouses tell their battered partner - they say sorry after the deed, but forgets their promise not to do it again the next time they get angry. Crap, now I feel horrible... And I'm not helping you at all with this! But I think it's good that you know you lose your temper. I think that's a good sign that you sincerely want to be better. And that's always the first step to improvement. Hugs, mama!