11 Replies
Hi I am in the same situation except mine started when I was 5 months pregnant . Husband is based overseas for work so he has never been around much for me when I was pregnant. I buy almost all the baby stuffs on my own, I pack everything and basically really like a single parent. It is very tough and sad and you have to be strong. Sometimes you will definitely feel imbalanced and Wanna vent on him. I hope your husband is more understanding. Sometimes after I vent my frustrations on my hub via a whole chain of msgs I will apologize and tell him to understand my situation. Even confinement period he was only here for two weeks and I induce birth Coz he cannot take too long leave. He sees us only once a month for a few days. After he moves back to SG this coming Dec I am sure he will be just as busy bcoz of new posting. I can only say stay strong for your baby. A mommy is always lonely. What won't kill u make u stronger. Seek help and distraction from family and friends. Stay focused that what your husband is doing is for the good of the family so that we can buy what we want. And that one day he will have time with you all again. You have got to help yourself on this , I went thru it so I can tell you it is not easy. I am not a clingy person but even I feel so lonely and frustrated. When you feel down just come online here to rant k
Hi mama! I faced the exact situation till last month! I have 2 kids and a SAHM. My husband did his part time degree and has ended it last November! He worked from 8-5pm and did his degree every Tue & Thu, sometimes on Sat too. You should understand that he is doing this for yourself and your kid. My husband spends time with us a lot on days he has no work and school. You just gotta keep yourself busy to distract yourself from feeling lonely. What I did everyday was to bring the kids out for play. Indoor playground, water play, we go to the library etc. I bake, I cook (try different/new recipes each day). Stay positive and good luck!
Do stay strong, not because of yourself but also for your child, as you said this is so that he can progress at work and give you guys a better life. You can consider creating small nuggets of time for you and your child to have with him. In our family, my husband always brushes my gal's teeth on weekend mornings and night. . Also, he puts her to bed every sat and sun night. These are their special bonding time and I don't intrude, I stay out of the bathroom and bedroom on these time. For myself, we always have a talk early in the morning before he goes to work. Remember quality time spent is more important than having quantity!
Tell yourself that you are priviledged to be SAHM to spend time with your child because of your husband's desire to provide a better future. I am also a SAHM and my husband came back home late and work during weekends. So sometimes while I am out with my child, any funny incidents I will take photo and share with him through whatsapp. If not I just give him a call to show some concern, because I also very heartpain that he has to fight at work to feed us. I dont even feel such pain for him when I was FTWM. I will also sometimes remind my child that his dad is working hard so we get to eat and have a house.
I know how u feel as im also a very clingy person and I can't stand being alone. But at least ur hubby is in Singapore and u can still see him. If possible, establish a routine maybe weekends solely for u n baby. U can always update ur hubby frequently abt the little things gg on in ur life n baby, maybe via a blog or wat. So that both of u can still feel engaged in each other's life. U can also make proactive n positive changes to urself like learn a new skill, which can serve as a good distraction from loneliness as well. Be positive and strong!
Try to schedule time for family only and time for couple only. It could just be a once a week/once a fortnight 2 hr meal / bring the kids to the swimming pool or something not too much effort and easy to up keep. My husband will do most of the looking after on sat morning before lunch - which is mainly play and feed. Try to focus on the big picture and communicate w him about how u feel / a need for some kind of arrangement so that u n family can still feel important. Go easy Caz it can be quite a lot happening on his side le
I had the same exact situation with you. I need to tell myself, husband is doing all these so that in future he would be able to find a better job prospect with a fatter paycheck. It's beneficial for you and baby too. Keep yourself busy with baby. im sure he will also miss family time. Take photos of place you bring with baby. Babies milestones too. Once he is back home, even on the bed, cuddle him, give him encouragement also. He will appreciate that you are understanding while he is hard at work studying
Hello, it is okay to feel confused! Do try to understand that he will be busier the next 3-5 years. He will definitely has less time than usual to help you out with the baby. Talk to him regarding your concerns, and how he can help so you can avoid feeling lonely. Schedule time to hang out with him. Besides that, go on facebook/whatsapp/ParentTown, find a mom support group - a group of moms to hang out with and give advise when times get tough. Stay strong! :)
If you're scared and clingy, cherish every single moment you have with him whenever he is physically around you. Whenever he is home from work/studies, all you gotta do is Stop, Drop and Roll. Stop taking attention away from him, Drop your mobile devices and Roll in bed together. A cuddle a day keeps dem troubles at bay.
dear, as most of the moms above mentioned. Scheduling time for the family is important. There is never a right time we have to dedicate and make time. In order for this to happen, you need to talk to your husband. It takes two to tango. Let him do his part and it will work out for you both. Blessings.