I am a SAHM with 2 kids. I left my high pay job to care for my child as we are unable to find a good nanny nor helper and we got no help from our parents. At the beginning, I am still using my own saving from family expanse so there is no attitude change in my hubby. The moment I start getting household allowance he started to give me black face. He never help out in the house or make decisions for kids by giving excuse like he respect all my decisions but will start showing me his black face when I don't see eye to eye on his "opinion or decision". For example, he want to see his parents on one Sunday and I told him I will prefer to stay at home to rest due to the sleepless night as my kid is teething. He will say ok but start showing black face or talk to me rudely until I give in. He also stop communicating with me saying that he don't understand my "housewife" mindset or complaining that I talk to him at wrong hours. But there is never a time to talk to him at all. For example, he told me not to discuss anything with him before he go to work, on his way to work, during his work time, during his lunch time, right after he come home, while he is eating or playing his phone nor before he sleep. Also he expected me to keep house spank and clean, preparing dinner on top of caring for our girls and visiting his parents every week. (I don't really like to visit my in-laws as they did the same to me right after I resigned to be a housewife.) If I don't, he will start shout and showing me "black face" again. With all those requirements to fulfil, he expect me to be loving and send him "love" message every day. When I try to explain to him, he will start comparing me with his friends' Wife and start belittle my characters. I don't feel love at all from him or respect by his family and start thinking if I should get a job and start planning my divorce with him as he only use me as a helper. However, I am concern for my kids as they are still so young. What should I do?

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Hi mummy , u know what . I'm in the same situation as you in the beginning when I became a sahm. My hubby would always say I'm a tai tai, shake leg at home , relax life and so on .. I felt hurt and wanted to get back to work too but the thought of getting a nanny puts me off as I've seen so many abuse cases and my kids are still so young . I couldn't do it so I bear with his sarcasm. Even my in laws thought I'm home doing nothing and taking care of 3kids was easy . Until they had to take care of my sil child . They couldn't even handle more than one child . And gradually after my 3rd child was born , she was pre matured and I nurtured her back to health . That's the time when my hubby start to appreciate and saw my efforts for our kids . But of course not all men will appreciate and understand what we as mums go through and fear for our kids . For me I will still go back to work when my kids get older . For now I don't care about how others think of me . They can assume all they want . But I will do my best to protect my kids until they are old enough for me to feel it's time for me to go back to work force again

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8y ago

I did tell myself to bite my lip and endure throughout 18 months so that I can send my kid to full-day toddler class with her Sister. But it is really too much stress emotional and physically to endure those harsh comments from my husband and his parents. My husband was not brought up by his parents at all. He was brought out by other people as my mil claimed that she does not have luck with baby, her thinking is as Long as she paid for his food she has done her part. My husband also feel the sa