I am a SAHM with 2 kids. I left my high pay job to care for my child as we are unable to find a good nanny nor helper and we got no help from our parents. At the beginning, I am still using my own saving from family expanse so there is no attitude change in my hubby. The moment I start getting household allowance he started to give me black face. He never help out in the house or make decisions for kids by giving excuse like he respect all my decisions but will start showing me his black face when I don't see eye to eye on his "opinion or decision". For example, he want to see his parents on one Sunday and I told him I will prefer to stay at home to rest due to the sleepless night as my kid is teething. He will say ok but start showing black face or talk to me rudely until I give in. He also stop communicating with me saying that he don't understand my "housewife" mindset or complaining that I talk to him at wrong hours. But there is never a time to talk to him at all. For example, he told me not to discuss anything with him before he go to work, on his way to work, during his work time, during his lunch time, right after he come home, while he is eating or playing his phone nor before he sleep. Also he expected me to keep house spank and clean, preparing dinner on top of caring for our girls and visiting his parents every week. (I don't really like to visit my in-laws as they did the same to me right after I resigned to be a housewife.) If I don't, he will start shout and showing me "black face" again. With all those requirements to fulfil, he expect me to be loving and send him "love" message every day. When I try to explain to him, he will start comparing me with his friends' Wife and start belittle my characters. I don't feel love at all from him or respect by his family and start thinking if I should get a job and start planning my divorce with him as he only use me as a helper. However, I am concern for my kids as they are still so young. What should I do?

37 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply
VIP Member

first thing first. kudos for being a supermom to let go of high paying job to take care of kids. thats a huge sacrifice. 2nd. next time ur husband compare u to any other wife... ask him to marry that wife... nothing is really green on the other side if u dont water ur side well. 3rdly i need to know if youre muslim.or not. cos if u are from a muslim family. pls do remind your hubs that household chores and everything else is not of the wife job. according to our teachings. and never belittle the wife for a wife happiness lays the husband key of eveything. i wish you all the strenght u need to go thru this. and never give up the family for this "black face" act he always puts up. next time ask him to switch up the role then 😉

Read more