16 Replies
short answer - u need to call them.at least when u first see them for the day. we can't escape the fact that it is basic manners that we even call strangers or tell our kids to call strangers uncle and auntie or something like that. moreover, this is ur parents-in-law and not some stranger so u as a dil should call them. an overnight change might be difficult. u dont need to call every time u want to address to them but then i wonder how u call them when u want to talk to them - unless u don't which is equally very unfriendly and rude. daughter-in-law shouldn't be behaving this way. Not staying with them or bad impression of them does not warrant not acknowledging them as ur husband's parents and does not warrant ur non-acknowlegement. not good terms -- well, if u come across as rude and no manners - very hard to have good relationship or improve it right? how would u feel or like it if ur husband was the same towards ur parents?
Actually I sorta can relate.. my PILs did something negative to me too and I can't stand being in their presence. I even feel that they don't deserve to be called by me. By nature, I'm also not the kind to greet pple. Even now. I will usually just say hello even to my relatives. So for a time, I didn't greet them everytime. Then they complain to my hub about me. So now I greet them everytime but mentally, I feel like puking everytime I did it. I see them everyday so it's like torture to me but my hub only sees my parents less than 5 times per year and he is comparing me and him. Anyway long story short, though I can uds your apprehension, just greet them to make everything ok. I greet them then immediately escaped somewhere haha
My PILs are very mean and rude towards me. My mil ask my husband to divorce with me as I gave birth to two girls. They both invaded my privacy whenever they come my house by digging my cupboards and letter; then go around telling people what good food I eat without them in my "own house". However, I still greet them every time I see them, not because I scare of them but they are my husband's parents. I told them off when they did something wrong but I still respect them as I don't want my girls to learn the wrong way.
Yes time for both of u to exercise some manners! Auntie uncle - could it be he hasn't switch over his default mode yet. Regardless, pls just greet, practice courtesy and everyone will be happier. Like teachers in school, even if we didn't like them we still greet them huh? Parents are unchangeable blood relations - u can't pretend it does not exist
One trick I found is not to call the same thing u call ur own parents. For example if u call ur mother "mum" u could call "ma" or "mother". This works if the relationship is relatively neutral but you don't feel that close to them. If u are unhappy .. then maybe harder
I don't think you will lose a piece of skin from greeting them, even if you don't like it. By greeting, you proved to them that you have good manners and they wouldnt have a chance to say you are not taught well by your parents.
After all it's respect. Once you start calling your husband's parents. Ma, Pa, Soon ur husband will follow suit too. As much as my husband hates my mother. He just calls mummy and continue with his things. Thats all. It's respect.
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This is manner n as time goes, u r sending incorrect message to yr children that he/she can choose not to call too. By calling them, it won't kill and moght bring better relationship.
Then u gotta have the habit to greet them regardless you like it or not. If ur Husband is not greeting ur parents, u will feel that ur Husband has no manners too isn't it?
The problem is he also didn't call my parents. He call them auntie Uncle .. π
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