Pain of losing a child

I just lost my child yesterday, a complete miscarriage in just one snap. It's not just the pain of miscarriage but the pain that I lost the opportunity to see him, to hug him, to hear him say his first word, see him take his first step, get him to his first school, bond with him, see him grow, provide him all the things and love and care he needed. It's not the "if only" that is painful it is the "what if, what could or what would" that is absolutely painful. It's unbearable, no mother deserves to lose a child she had so much hoped for. People kept saying atleast I have an angel if only they knew that my little one would still be angel even if he is alive and that hits me so hard. I told him we can make it together, it's just him and me and we would still have a blast and happy life, but my baby left me and silently slipped from my grip. We could have been the best buddies. I feel so sore, numb, and dead.

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Same with what happened to me last 2018. It is my regular check up, I was 12 weeks pregnant and I told my Ob that there is a very thin line of brown discharge that I found in my undies. She checked for the heartbeat via Doppler and was not able to find any. She recommended to have an ultrasound and there we confirmed that I had an Intrauterine Fetal Demise. My baby was just 7 weeks old and 5 days, seems like he/she stopped developing and had been dead for quite a while. Me and my husband went straight to the mall and bought tickets to the cinema, not to watch but to cry in the balcony because we can't come home yet. I can't tell my then 4 yr old first born that his brother/sister is gone. This happened weeks before our wedding. I was a mess. I can't understand why. When I had my first born, I was not ready, I was so young and the biological father left me while pregnant. But I am so ready with the second one, everyone is excited. My fiance is going to be a great dad just as he did with my first born whom he loves as his own. My then fiance told me, never to keep the hurt in my heart. Never to be mad at God. He is hurting and he lost a child too but he was saying those words to me. It helped me a lot and I kept believing. We got married and now after a year of the miscarriage I am 7mos pregnant with our baby boy. It surely took all the time it needed. But God helped us heal. I am sure He will do the same thing with you. Just keep the faith.

Magbasa pa
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I'm so sorry mommy, I too, lost my first. I never got to see him/her on ultrasound, all I had were the two lines. It was complete spontaneous. What's worse was while I was grieving, I was attending to newborn babies. For every mother that gave birth, I questioned God why He had to take mine away. The days were painful and every night I prayed for my child to come back. My heart was completely shattered and my husband didn't know what to do with me as I cried myself to sleep every night. We waited 2 years for that child and thought we'd never have one. I received messages from friends and families who suffered miscarriage too. 2 months later, I got to see two lines again. Did the ultrasound and saw my little miracle. I'm still healing from the loss of my first but my 2nd is putting my heart back piece by piece. In the time that I felt so alone, I found out that I was wrong. I pray that you find your own healing and peace. Hold on to your faith. Your child will come back to you.

Magbasa pa
2y ago

nakakainggit ka po ❤️ we waited for our first baby too for two years 😢 dumating pero nawala rin. sana makarecover din ako sa pagkawala ng baby ko..

Condolence mommy, I feel you 3 years ago💔💔💔 but dont lose hope. God is good, remember that. 😇😇😇 Twice ako nakunan noon..ang tigas kasi ng ulo ko. Di ko seneseryoso ang advice ng ob ko. Sana wag ka mawalan ng tiwala sa sarili mo at sa panginoon. Ang sakit po talaga sobra. 😥😥 cguro Di pa sya para saten. Today 24 weeks preggy na ako... Kaya wish ko sayo tibayan mo loob mo at wag kang mawalan ng pag.asa. Your little angel is watching and guiding you now. God bless po. ❤️❤️❤️ Alam ko madali lang sabihin, pero ang hirap mag move on. Time heals and God will give you another chance when the right time comes. 🙏🙏🙏

Magbasa pa

Tibayan mo po loob mo mommy... Siguro po wala kasi ako sitwasyon kaya nasasabi ko na tibayan mo po loob mo... Pero sinabi ko pa din po kasi im sure... Ayaw ka makikita ni baby mo na malungkot mi... Madami pa pong pwedeng mangyari... Siguro po ganto na lang po... Isipin mo po na hihiramin lang po ng nasa taas si baby kasi need po ng dagdag angel... Tapos po ibabalik din nya ito sayo ng MAS HEALTY AT MAS MAMAHALIN KA PO NYA... kagaya po ng pagmamahal na nararamdaman ko sa post mo po para sa kanya... Laban Mommy😘😘😘

Magbasa pa

Im sorry for your loss.. 😔 please stay strong. Dasal lang. Keep on praying. Iiyak mo lang,ilabas mo lang lahat ng nararamdaman mo. Isulat mo sa papel lahat ng nararamdaman mo. Mag open ka ng nararamdaman mo sa mga close friends at family mo. Kailangan mo ngayon ang suporta nila. Kapit lang.. alam ko mahirap at masakit. Maraming tanung,walang sagot ngayon. Only God knows why.. just pray for his guidance and for strength. Time will heal your pain. Just pray 🙏

Magbasa pa

i had the same situation last August 2017. 5 days ko pa lang nalalaman preggy ako with all the signs and positive test, nagpacheckup pa ako.. kala ko normal yung spotting at 6 weeks. then ayun, complete miscarriage nangyare. Only few knew about it. I was so devastated that time. Madaming tanong pero stay strong. God has plans. May baby girl na ko ngayon, 4 months.

Magbasa pa
2y ago

wala po operation. kusa lng sya lumabas after ng mga spotting.. uminok pa ko pampakapit. di rin kinaya.

Have strength mamsh... Alam ko mahirap at masakit..I've been there sis, a month ago lang my baby girl left me.. she was 32 weeks in my tummy. That feeling na excited ka na kasi ilang weeks na Lang due date mo na pero in an instant- Wala na.😔.. Trust God my dear... He has plans to us... Godbless you..

Magbasa pa

ilang weeks mommy..... condelence po. ako din po namiscarriage last year March... 16 weeks. nagtry uli kami this year.... now 14 weeks na baby ko 😊😊😊😊 sana mafull term na now. nagbedrest na ako since 8 weeks. todo ingat na ako mommy. hnd na ako punapasok sa work

Same tau mommy kaka D&C ko lang last april 15..wala ng sasakit pa sa mawalan ng anak..kahit pa gs sac and yolk sac lang ramdam kong andito sya sa luob ko..sobrang iyak at lungkot..take mo lang positve sis..ako kc naicp ko mga anak ko..sa tamang panahon ibibigay din ni god..

same tayo mommy I had miscarriage last december it was really sad christmas evee but now God is a provider he bless me another baby now I am 5 weeks pregnant. Just think positive mamsh and think that God prepare something better. God bless