Life after baby. Share with me please on how you feel about this. Thank you.

I had a baby late last year. It was a precious moment and without saying my baby is my love of my life and this is nothing got to do with my baby. Its about me and husband and in law. Firstly I am so thankful that my in law helped us alot when we just had the baby. No doubt without them it will be tough on us as this is our first baby. But slowly as time goes by many things happened. Let me just shorten it and say it in general, I felt that in law and even the husband tries to control everything on what I do or handle my baby. Seems like things I did is wrong most of the time. My opnions or suggestions were not acknowledged. Worst, when misunderstanding happened even the husband was with his parents. I was totally shocked by that. I understood wrong is wrong but you know sometimes you need your loved one to be there for you right? But not for me in this case. Its like 3 vs 1. Honestly I just felt like leaving. I just felt so sad than being unhappy. And since all this happened I distant myself from them. It is sad. My feelings for husband changed too. For all the times I have been there for him this is what I got from him after having a baby. I can only sigh and live through day by day. To me his effort of taking care of baby was just an okay and its annoying. Here I am being exhausted and at the same time wanted to do my way to take care of my baby which I can't do that happily as there is too many rules there are this people being so selfish and don't realised it. Also husband kind of prefer his parents to take care of baby rather than mine reason is his side this is their first but my side this is the 9th but I felt why not make it fair as both sides its still my baby grandparents right? See I told you when it comes to this my feelings just don't seem important to husband. He just thinks what he wants and make his family happy. I am just sad so sad. Where is the little respect as a mum to my baby goes now? I wonder. Do you went through this too? I hope not but please share with me if its a yes and what you did to solve it. Thank you mummies. #1stimemom #advicepls

Anonymous

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I’m in same situation not even better. I want to take care & educate my LO. We in different belief, so before marriage & baby plan my husband & I did talk a lot on family plan even with his parents. But all discussion turn bullshit. Now my baby is 11mth old. My relationship with my husband was in unhappy marriage we stop communicate. If I point out any discussion my husband will shout on me. I taken all the blame becoz they like to said I take granted from his family. I cook meal for his family during pregnant & WFH. But I been tell I take granted. I give birth to my baby & asking my husband take care my baby at night during my 2nd month postnatal I take granted from him. As my husband I always take granted. To my in-law all turn very ugly. My MIL said I spent her 2k to buy ingredients for my confinement (no cod fish, or any good ingredients). Then they like to kept asking me why baby cry. How much u feed, why u didn’t do this & that (like very expert, but my In-law didn’t even take care her own son & daughter when they are infant). But I very firm person. I will not scold back but I act on my way. I even Everyday ask my baby said good morning & said good night to everyone before back to room. I do my best to teach my own son. Is so difficult, ask them help u take granted. Don’t ask them help, u didn’t ask for help that’s why u deserve to be exhausted. I just learn what come to me. Do what U think is right for baby. Ppl will be mistake here & there. Stay strong mama. U are the best mama for ur baby

Baby is yours! You have all the rights! If your husband only wants to makes his parents happy then tell him marry his parents! Tell his parents ownself go and give birth so they can do wtv the fk they want to the child! I am NOT in good terms with my in LOLS(laws) 🙄🙄 I made it clear I only allow his parents to see my baby once a month! I will not allow them to touch my baby and at the start they would keep pestering about Chinese name and that it’s a must to shave her hair shave her brows and all those pantang sh*t but I also told them straight in their face NO and I’m the MOM you all have no rights to do anything to my baby! At the end of the day, baby is yours! You bring up your baby however you want if your husband dont agree then tell him go find another women give to another baby so his parents can control that baby life however the fk they want! For me I am v v v firm and I will let anyone NO matter who knows not to cross their line and interfere with how I decide to bring up, care and love for my baby

2 more comments

Anonymous

4y ago

Old people have a lot of stupid believes and trust me most of them dont even have any reasoning behind their logic if being questioned! They will have nothing to say except “dont ask so much LAST TIME all do this” LOL! They still think now is their time🙄🙄 I mean because my relationship I wear the pants not my husband and plus mine was shotgun so they were already unhappy! (They never liked me to begin with) my husband listens to me and my reasoning and he agrees to most of my views and points! I totally agree on the point where you told him to go find someone else! I also told in laws that! If you dont stay in in laws actually quite easy to Siam! Just keep giving excuses about not gg to their house and make it clear in their face why you dont want to go! Lmao my father in law smoke I make it clear to everyone in the house “dont fkin smoke when my baby is here”

Hope u are not staying with your in law. I went thru sth that’s a bit Similar. Stayed with in law, can’t stand the way in law talk and do things, first she asked why baby so noisy when baby was few days old, then she carried baby with her hair dye on her hair... so I moved out when baby 4 month plus. Felt husband sides w his mom too, but I made it clear baby is mine. I won’t let his mom come near my baby for some time. I’m still not forgiving her for my bad experience. I could have provided better for my first born. But because of living with her, and her nonsense behaviour, I let down my kid in some areas. In fact, my milk supply shot up to surplus after I moved, from insufficient to over supply.

This kind of thing, u must open your mouth and tell them. I am not on good terms with my in laws so I told my hubby I will not let my baby meet them at all. Only during cny. My in laws Are a bunch of disgusting people. They don’t show concern about my baby and only visited her once since she’s born because they are pantang and my baby is a girl so no value to them. She is 3 months plus now. They also want my baby to shave her head etc and I said no.

Put your feet down. U need to be strict and firm. The way I see it, u actually also wants to make everybody happy. Set your boundaries and rules regarding this. 1 week ur inlaws take care the other 1 week ur parents take care. Don't let them step ur head and make it looks like ur decision doesnt matter. Be firm , girl. Get someone close to u to be by ur side also if u cant get ur husband . Be firm always

Anonymous

4y ago

Hi Anonymous. Thank you so much for the moral support. It makes me feel better, thank you. That is my plan for baby while we are working 1 week here and there. I am sure husband will be kind of unhappy too and expected his parents take care baby totally. Exactly you got my point here I am trying to make everyone happy there are this people being very much selfish. Will do and be firm for myself and baby. Thank you so much for those words and encouragement. God bless you.

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