Just a rant

Feeling very emotionally and mentally drained. Been married for almost 8 years and parents in law still dislike me. I tried so many things to make them like me even changing to be more extroverted when i come over their place.. But this time i feel like its too much when they refuse to come over and visit my newborn baby. Im staying at my own parents place and kept getting qns like 'when your PIL coming over to see the baby?' I can only smile, its hard to not feel extra emotional esp postpartum. My husband has asked them before whether there was anything that i did that made them not like me. They just kept saying that my husband changed ever since he married me. Hows that got to do with me? and yea ofc hes gonna change, before he was single with no priorities with all the time in the world. Honestly theyve said and did so many things that have hurt me but i tried not to think about it so much and just forgive but never forget. Tbh if they werent my husb parents, i wouldve just cut them off, im somebody who mind their own business alot and this sort of unresolved issue just bother me alot. My husb has said that we should just ignore and see them during special occasions only just to run away from the negative vibes, how i wish it could be as simple as that for me. It seems like no matter what i do, ill always be the evil daughter in law, to the extent that my SIL and BIL are always making snide comments whenever i come around. It comes to the point where i even thought of divorce bc i was thinking what if my marriage is not blessed just bc my PIL dont like me? 😢 Yea just ranting here hopefully someone has an advice for me or anyone who have been thru this before 😢

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I had an almost same issue as u. To be honest u are more luckily den me. As u r not staying with thm. And don’t need to face thm everyday! I’m staying with PIL and got to see their colour everyday! This kind of in laws, u don’t have to be dishearten. To be honest, do u need their help? If don’t need den why bother? Jus be happy that ur husband is with u. And always sides on u. Recently, I also had my newborn. Thy also don’t even bother to look at her. Can u believe it, we are staying in the same house. Thy din see at all! Not only that, my mom came over n stay at my house help to look after my elder one. While I went for hospital to give birth. PIL don’t even bother to say hello to my mom. U know wat thy do? Thy disappear themselves. Both went out very early in the morning and come bck home late night. I so wish I can be like u. Move out from thm. Haiz..!

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9mo ago

omg actually ur right, i cant even imagine if i stay in the same hse as my PIL.. i dont need their help, thats true. idk, maybe i just hate it when ppl just find reasons to hate on me when ive done ntg to deserve it you know. but ya im considered abit more lucky than you sis i feel, idk if i can stay quiet if im in the same house and they dont even acknowledge my baby's existence and worse dont even bother to say hello to my mum 😱 i hope some day youll be able to move out! everyday in the same house have to face this sort of PIL, wahhh i rlly cannot. everyday heart pain

hv u wonder why they dislike u? probably bcoz u stay with ur own parent after married? u married their son & at the same time u took away their son from them, coz son suppose to stay with parent if the couple dont hv house according to chinese tradition, not the other way round (idk, jus my guessing, coz some parent quite traditional mindset)

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9mo ago

im always wondering why they dislike me haha. and no me and hubby stay our own house as soon as we got married. but confinement period i stay wif my parents.. mainly because theres no room for us in PIL house.

Just ignore them and do not strain your marriage becoz of them. No matter what you do, they won't be pleased. In my opinion, they believed you stole him from them. Inclusive of any pocket money he supplied them in the past might have reduced after marriage. Be happy and just be yourself.

You tried and did your best. For as long as you are a good wife and mother, and give them the courtesy that is accorded to PIL, then that is more than enough. They will come around eventually. If they don’t, its their loss not yours

Actually, you are veryyy lucky that your husband is on your side ❤️ most husbands would side their parents. So try to be each others support and dont worry what others think ok. One day they will know what theyre missing.

8mo ago

Stay steong and stand firm on your rights ok. Dont let them cross the line. 💪🏻💪🏻

Well if im u, I shld b happy that such MIL does not want me ard. Just cut them off, this is what they wanted anyway. Dun let such negative vibes affect ur life and marriage