My husband is overly casual with the helper

Hi mummies I'm feeling really torn inside, I need to know if I'm overreacting or not. My family has always been on very casual terms with our helper. She's really good with our daughter so we also treat her like family, I sometimes listen to her talking about her own family and problems. Likewise my husband is also very casual with her. She's 1 year younger than him. He likes to make jokes and pranks so he sometimes plays around with her like jumping out from a dark room to scare her. I am a little concerned about their interactions tbh, but I don't say anything since it's probably just his personality, he's like a big child. But today I felt like he crossed a line. We were talking about my 10 week pregnancy scan. Husband: my mother says this baby is a boy. Me: how do you know? Husband: because the pee-pee is very big, like sir. He even referred to himself as sir so it's clearly the remark is directed at the helper. She just laughed and was like oh my god sirrr. But I was completely shocked. I felt it was so out of line and inappropriate. I felt insulted and hurt because he can make such a joke at our helper right in front of me. I immediately confronted him after, and told him it was very inappropriate and I'm not ok with it. I said if it happened again I would send our helper back home. He basically just said I overreacted and "it's on you for reacting this way". I was at a lost for words. I felt like he just shifted the blame on me and dismissed my feelings. I didn't know what to say to him anymore so I locked myself in the room and bawled my eyes out. This isn't the first time it happened. A while ago there was an incident where he pranked the helper by pretending his hand was dirty and then swiped it on her face. I already told him I was uncomfortable and he said he would stop, and now it's happening again. What should I do mummies, I don't know if my feelings are valid or I'm just overreacting. Should I be worried about my marriage? We have one daughter and another baby on the way so I definitely won't let anything happen, but what can I do? Please provide some assurance as I'm feeling really hurt (maybe those pregnancy hormones are contributing also).

Anonymous

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Send helper home because even if you corrected her, she might feel that she is being sandwiched by two employers, except with one being so chummy with her and it may even brew something in the future if it havent already. Unhappy helper is not ideal when you have a kid and baby coming. Your husband is definitely out of line because helper is only as out of line in this manner where its allow by your husband and that when he needs to be able to see how inappropriate that is, even if you need to get through to him through others’ mouths. If he thinks thats okay, you will have bigger problem than just helper at home because its who he will be with everyone else. Be strong and set the record straight that its unacceptable.

I don't have a maid, but I wouldn't touch or flirt with a maid in front of my wife and without my wife's presence, that's unforgiveable and insensitive to my wife. Suggsstion: Replace the maid soonest possible. Set up Do and don't rules for next maid and your husband. You need to take charge of this 100% and monitor closely always, otherwise this will get out of control and it might jeopardise your marriage.

My husband said definitely not right for helper and husband to be too causal or touchy with each other. Replace the maid is a must, and tell the husband to stay professional with the next one.

no need to ask, send the maid back to her hometown. you hired a male helper and do the same thing, let's see how your husband react. jk, talking to him no use, just hired some older helper.

replace the maid as soon as possible.. Don't wait until the situation getting worse.. I suspect something between them.. They used to flirt each other.

i think there is something

between the two

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