My husband is an online gamer. He always play on his phone whenever at home. I understand it when we we're bf/gf but now that we already had a baby how can I open it up to him in a nice way? Our baby is 2 months already. As a full time mom, I want him to help me or spend with our LO whenever he's home. Am I asking for to much? I know he is also tired from work and I understand that.
Been on the same shoes and I know how it feels and how you wanted to burst out every time you see him doing so while you, ugh! don't know where to place your a** while baby is awake and or fussy. No, you're not asking too much and you don't need to be apologetic about it. When I experienced it, our baby is even as young as a newborn when my partner better lull himself in the comfort of his "gaming couch" than to check on the baby and me. We are living with my parents and I know how they also felt so bad about it but can't lift a finger so when I really can't contain it I dragged him in a corner and talked to him very seriously. Of course I cried to make him feel more guilty of his wrong doing and luckily I saw "changes" on him later on. He's kinda heard-headed and that's the ultimate thing I can't change about him so he still play from time to time, BUT with my consent, during wee hours in the middle (up to him if he get only a few to no sleep but at least he's done with his duties at home) and only now that baby is bigger (1yo). Sorry that's a quite a bit story but just want to sympathize with you. You know things will get better as they say and a good talk between you two can really make a difference. So go talk to him and "open" his eyes just in case he's really not seeing things correctly. Ya know we can only take so much and so we need to voice out before the situation gets worse. Cheer up dear! :)Magbasa pa
Find the right timing if you were to talk about this to him. I did that to my husband while we're lying on bed and felt relax (someone suggested it to me) He'll understand you as you properly communicate your needs and concerns. My husband is also a gamer and an avid collector of those toy collectibles, but I made my self clear in that matter and I also expressed my views and told him I also need him to be my alternative caregiver when I am already exhausted. They would frequently answer with it's their stress-relieving technique but might as well request him to alot a specific number of hours for playing while considering the help you need.Magbasa pa
You can tell him straight but make sure its the right timing. Men would always want to relax by playing games on their gadgets but you have to let him know that you need some time to rest too and he will have to take his turn of taking care of the baby.
Your feelings are totally valid. You don't want to be a killjoy, but he does need to be more present and supportive when he's home. After all, you're tired too! Communicate it to him clearly and patiently and hopefully he'll understand.
Your sentiments are perfectly understandable, based from your story, it seems like your husband needs some growing up to do. I suggest you sit him down and talk to him about your concerns.
Of course, you're not asking too much. Help your husband understand and adjust to his new role now. Show him how good the feeling could be to be a father to his child.