16 Replies
Basically you both need to talk but please know in yourself that it won't be easy. Expectations to resolve the issues right away might frustrate you more and might add to injury. What l am trying to say is to let go of the issues for a while coz the more you involve yourself in it, the harder it is to see the solutions to your way out. In my opinion, talking to your husband doesn't necessarily be in verbal languages so that you can air it all out but you can show it in the way na maglalambing ka ulit sa asawa mo. Pag binato ka nang bato, batuhin mo nang tinapay. Talking or showing love again might get him back to his family. Show him that you are his family now. Not in a way na kakausapin siya about his parents and his income. Letting him know how you value your family with him and your kids might let him think to do the same. Just be patient. Getting him back together is not impossible. Kung nagkaintindihan nga kayo dati na hindi mo pa siya kilala. Ngayon pa kaya? When you already have a family and kids to take good care of. It's just all this issues drowning you both. You can do it all over again by trying again like it's the first time.
Almost same situation here except for the vices. My husband is an ofw and he sends money to both me and my mother in law. Tried to talk to him about it na baka pwedeng wag na muna sya send money kay MIL or if may exepenses sa side nila wag naman lahat sya mag shoulder. Most of the time he won't respond. I know it sounds offensive but I can't just keep my feelings. At least I let him know how uncomfortable I am with that situation. Sobrang hirap especially now na lumalaki na si baby and malapit na mag school and we pay monthly amortizations also. I always encourage him to save but when we talk about these things it's seems that I'm talking to the wall. He always try to avoid the topic. MIL is also very jealous given that my husband is a mama's boy. Also don't know how to deal with this. I've done my part to understand him, to talk to him...it's him who doesn't cooperate and doesn't know where I'm coming from. With regards to MIL, I don't want her gone like forever, though it's the only solution. I just want her to learn to accept that her son has his own family now and allow him to be a responsible breadwinner to his wife and son. Whew!
That's a tough position you're in. While you really can't separate your husband from his responsibility as his mom's child, you can always talk it out with your husband and as a wife, I guess you can demand that all of his earnings should come straightly to you. I guess there's nothing much you can do about it; it's your husband that needs to realign priorities. My advice is save yourself from the hatred. It will only put you and your baby in too much stress. Extend your patience as long as you can and never forget to always talk and remind your husband. You gotta deal with things together, no matter what, no matter how tiring it may get. Hope you'll feel good soon
you have to think whats best for u and for your baby, i cannot say that you should leave him but i think thats the best thing you can do.. he is not a good provider,husband.. in your situation he should think whats best for you and his child, he is so immature.. if he continue to do what he wants tell him to leave you alone and go to his mom's skirt.. you can start anew with your own.. and pray to God to give you more strenght to surpass all your obstacles..cheer up for the sake of your baby..😊
You really need to talk about it... you are both now parents ... your going have a baby soon... we have the same case but except for liquors and gamblings... and all of his salary goes straight to his mom... and we live in the same roof just the 3 of us.. but luckily my Mother in Law is so kind.. she guided us whenever we go in a wrong way... she didnt tolerate his son to be disobedient ... but the problem is all his salary goes straight to his mom.....and im not complaining..
I agree with Sam. You and your husband needs a heart to heart talk. I would say you are in a difficult position at the moment. He has to understand that you and the kids are now his first priority. Yes, you respect how close he is to his family but he has to be reminded of his obligations as a father and husband. He also needs to have the initiative to explain to his family that there will be some adjustments since he has his own family now.
you need a temporary break from those people. I mean this is probably the worst advice but if youre struggling right now because of them, it will never get better. they sound like manipulative and selfish. You should focus more on you and your child. have people who are more supportive and less difficult.
You need to have a heart to heart talk with your husband. Say anything and air your pain and frustrations. As a husband and father, he's ought to prioritize you over his family no matter what happens. I'm sure, sooner or later he'll recognize his shortcomings.
You and your husband need a heart to heart talk. Now that you're married, you and your future kids are his immediate family. It doesn't mean that he stops helping his parents, but he needs to prioritize your needs first especially with your baby coming.
Oh my.. I am not even sure if talking to your husband would really help. It looks like he's addicted to his vices and gambling. You should make a decision for yourself and your child as soon as possible. You know and you will feel what is best for you.