How does married life change after having a baby? Would like to be mentally prepared for this and not taken by surprise!

Before having a baby, you get to do whatever you want. You can watch a movie whenever you feel like it, or go shopping together. Basically, I would say that there isn't TOO much of a difference between dating and married life apart from the legal and financial issues. However, there is a huge jump when a baby is added into the equation. Especially if you are breastfeeding and cannot leave baby (with a caregiver) at home for more than 2 hours, everything you do has to pander around the baby's schedule. Obviously this means there has to be a deeper understanding and acceptance that the baby's needs come first. The frequency of sex will definitely decrease in the first few months after giving birth. There will also be more issues to argue about. Having a baby is a test of the strength of your partnership. It's a lifelong project.

We have more laughter after having babies as babies are really cute. Although at times do have different views in parenting approaches and decisions related to kids, but we sort out by talking more to understand each feelings. I admitted that after babies are here, we never enjoy couple trip anymore. I just can't bear to leave babies alone at home while I am travelling. I really wish when the youngest kid turns older we will have chance for couple trip again. Having dinner outside, watching movie at cinema, buying groceries have became the only luxurious time to spend together.

Before the baby came along, my hubby and I led our lives outside separately and came home to each other. Currently with the baby, we are always on Whatsapp discussing abt what our baby is doing (I'm a sahm) and interesting places we can bring her. Our lives, decision-making and everything else revolves around her. We spend less time with each other as a couple. Dates need to be planned now; no longer soontaneous, less supper, no midnight movies. We also snap at each other a lot more but reconcile after few mins. It will take more effort to keep the marriage going. :)

You will have lesser time with each other especially during the first year when your baby is so reliant and dependent on you two. There can be two ways to go, you grow closer together, or further apart so you got to work at it. Speak to each other about who helps with what so that there are no misunderstandings and conflicts when the baby comes. Plan time to go out with each other at least once a month, get a nanny or a family member to help so that you can have time with each other. Your baby can be the best thing that can happen to your marriage. :)

My daughter is turning 8months soon and I don't think my married life have changed much in terms of relationship but more of activities we can do after having her. We used to catch all the latest movies in the Cinema with no planning ahead required but now we have to plan ahead with our baby sitter and only do mid night movies. Other than that, my husband is a very hands on dad and so far the relationship is as good as before.

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thanks