Feeling depressed

Feeling really depressed as it seemed like baby doesn't like me... He cries so much when I carry him and refuse to sleep, but seemed so calm when my MIL or confinement nanny carries him and sleeps soundly. My MIL and nanny also kept making comments such as its because the way I carry the baby is uncomfortable for him, I dont know how to carry him, I am not good at calming him etc, I'm slow in diaper changing, I can't understand his cries etc... My MIL blames me whenever baby cries too. I'll be the only one taking care of him once the nanny leaves as my family will be working in their respective offices. I'm not confident that I'll be able to handle him alone and put him to sleep etc. It's only 3 weeks since baby is out and I feel like a failure as a mom already.

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Super Mum

Hi mummy I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, you are definitely not a failure. You're the one who sacrificed your comfort and body to produce a baby for 9 months and now your body is still healing, hormones are regulating, sounds like you might be suffering from PPD as well. I had PPD for about a month after birth and I cried a lot and the little things people say can really affected me. It would really help if people like MIL, nanny are more sensitive and understanding of your feelings. Can you try conveying how you feel to them? Let them know it is insensitive and unhelpful to criticise a mummy who just gave birth recently and still recovering. Newborn babies can be very difficult and it's stressful when they keep crying, but I can assure you it will get better and better. Once they start sleeping better, regulate themselves better, start babbling and laughing, that's when you reap the reward of the first few difficult weeks. So hang in there ok you will reach there in no time 🤗

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4y ago

Thank you so much ❤ It's really nice knowing someone out there understand!! I'll jiayous for baby 💪🏻💪🏻

I feel exactly how u feel actually and I fully agree with all e comments here. Mine is 2 mths and there's still so much learning from each other (baby and mother). First time mum would likely b inexperienced and obviously not do as well as MIL and CL. But our mother instincts would be present. Bb feels our insecurity and fear and can only cry to communicate. Bb doesn't quite know so dun take it personally like thinking bb doesn't like u. He will find out who is his mummy in few onths. And I experienced e same except that CL was the one blaming me. They should teach u the right ways or give tips and not blame since it is not constructive.

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Went through the same thing last month after giving birth and still trying to get out of it ... so you are definitely not alone. Just know that at the end its your baby and he/she will definitely be fine under your care. There is no right or wrong as long as baby is healthy and unharmed. We all just need to get use to each other (baby and yourself) so give yourself time plus i learnt that whatever works the first time may not work subsequent times (when it comes to soothing baby). Dont give up stay strong.

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VIP Member

Come on girl. No one can walk straight when born. The nanny and you mil are experienced old fox. We can't compared ourselves with them so lets not feel sad. You can learn from youtube or ask your peer. Do it step by step don't push yourself too hard k. Most new mother experiences the same thing, NB likes to bully FTM. If they condemn you again, just tell them THIS IS MY FIRST BABY, SOMETHING WRONG IF I KNOW EVERYTHING AND DO IT PERFECTLY 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

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My mum help to take care of baby during my confinement. Same situation; baby is very calm when she carry but keep crying when I carry. I know my mum means well but can't help feeling sad and annoyed when she gives comments. Don't worry about it, it will get better when you spend more time with baby. =)

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I went thru the same thing! when my lo cried my mil will barge in the room and carry my lo out. I felt like a failure.. i can only hope when lo grows up and understands she will know I'm her mommy and not my mil.....

Hi, I think your MIL is very wrong to blame you like this as this is clearly a learning curve as this is your first baby. My advice would be to go by your instincts and stand your ground always. More power to you :)

Super Mum

Newborn stage is the hardest! My baby is now 9 months snd things are getting easier as she can sit on her own and i can play with her