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13 Replies

Super Mum

Hi dear, thank you for sharing. Hearing your thoughts, you seem to be very seriously considering to keep this baby. If you do decide on that, I applaud you for your courage. ❀️ You’ve raised 2 very important points, 1) it’s tough being a single mum, 2) you don’t know if you can give your baby a good life. For 1), it is indeed tougher than having a partner that is involved and loving towards you and the baby. But the phrase β€œit takes a village to raise a child” is also true. If your parents are willing to support you and help you, that would be wonderful for both you and your child. The love from people who truly invest their lives in the baby is worth way more than a man who doesn’t care about the baby or is willing to give up things for the baby. Aside from your parents, there are many avenues for help and support, both financially and child care. Yes, you’ll need to be prudent with how you spend. Yes, your life will change and your focus will be completely different from that of a single lady, but if you treasure the baby, this little human being can bring you more joy than you ever thought possible. Never be ashamed or shy to receive help, and to build good support systems, especially when things are hard. There are many people who are willing to be there for you:) For 2), what is a β€œgood life” for a child? When I look at my children, I think the thing that they’ve asked for the most is to be loved. It’s not gifts or luxuries, or even a lot of food. Providing for them and trying to get them a comfortable life is something that many of us may strive to do, but if the children are neglected in the process of parents earning money, that’s not a β€œgood life” to the kids either. I believe that every parent has the ability to give their child a good life, and to teach their child what is good (morals) and what’s important in life. Regardless of your decision at the end of the day, I hope you make the choice that gives you peace, with no regrets. Because both decisions require courage and action on your part. Both decisions will affect you physically and emotionally. As for the guy, let him know your decision, even if it goes against his wishes. I know you didn’t intend to meet him for a 2nd date, but I guess as the blood-related father, he should know... and decide whether he wants to invest his life in this baby’s life (if you’re keeping this baby). Of course, if he’s not going to be committed or help, you may want to just ask him to carry on with his life and you carry on with yours. Just prayed for you, hoping you will soon find clarity in making the best decision, and that you will have peace and joy. If you do decide to keep the baby, this community is always here to support you through the pregnancy and even raising your child:)

I did tell the father that I’m keeping the baby but he kept going on the reasons why I should abort the baby until I got fed up and left. I never replied to him after since because I know he will just pressure me to abort it . Is it a bad idea not to let him know or see the baby after I give birth ?

I think there are some things you need to consider before deciding to keep or abort. 1. Is there any help you can get to take care of the baby? As I think if you are doing it alone, it will be very tedious and nerve wrecking especially times when the baby is crying for no apparent reasons. 2. Can your financial status manage? As having a baby, there are a lot of expenses incurred such as their diapers, milk powders (unless you plan to exclusive breastfeed) and toiletries, especially during the confinement month such as getting a confinement lady. 3. Also, if you plan to return work after your maternity leave, who will be taking care of the baby? In my opinion, all of these have to take into considerations before you decide to abort or keep. I personally will not abort any babies, as I believe that all of them are innocent and deserve a chance to be born as I have two past miscarriages and really treasure each time I got pregnant. After all, these are precious lives. However, upon having a decision, I think you should let the father of the child knows and he can decide if he want to make any contributions to the child's life such as visiting the baby, bringing the baby out or through financial means such as paying for the baby expenses.

Just wanna encourage you... don’t give up although it’s not easy but the baby is a precious life, what the baby needs is more then the $ aspect but the love from her mom.. yes there are many out there who would love to be pregnant, besides keeping the baby, legal adoption is also another option... also it took me 3 IVFs to conceive and many years of trying, pray you will carefully consider and believe you will be able to overcome the odds

Trust your instinct. And have faith in god. I was pregnant with my first child when i was 16. I was a single mom but then my dad support me. My mom shun me away because she say she is ashame. My parents are divorce. So now my daughter is already sec 3. Well i believe if you have good intentions and working hard for it god will always guide and help clear your path for a better life.

VIP Member

Consider your options very carefully...there is a precious life in you...you are very lucky to have a loving and supportive family members...keep us posted here or if you face any other problems πŸ’•

The baby is a precious life and a gift from Heaven. As long as you are determined and don’t mind being a single mum, you will do well! Once you see your baby in your arms, it’s all worth it.

You can choose if you want to keep them baby or not, follow your heart. But imho if it were me, I will keep the baby because I know there are couples out there who are infertile.

VIP Member

for me, I'll not abort. surely more tired to take care alone and all financial issue but at the end of the day, I believe its gonna be worth it

Hehe struck of luck during the first try. What a big decision! If not abort, how about putting the baby in legal adoption way?

Super Mum

Actually there are couples trying for kids with no luck. Not sure if u ok with others adopting the kid

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