Leave them be, if your husband really cares he should step in. As women who married into a guys family, we should never voice our disagreements, let their baby boys voice out to their parents. Words coming from outsiders (we are, afterall someone elses child) and words coming from their own baby boys are different, and yields different results. All you need to do, is be a good and responsible wife to your husband and a great mom to your kids, as for in-laws pls don't exert too much pressure. I've come to accept this concept long ago, just because they like before being married doesn't mean they like you after that. Their expectations change over time, I've no idea why too. Everytime before you react, imagine if your kids said the same thing to you vs your kid gf/bf said the same thing to you, how would you as a mom feel about it. You will forgive your kid, you may not forgive someone else's kid. It is the way it is, there's no explanation for this. No matter who says "you're just like my daughter" please don't fall for this s***, if your parents don't love you, don't believe anyone else does.
I am in a similar situation whereby all that i do for my in laws, is never good enough. My parents in law prioritise my SIL children over mine and they are not afraid to show it. I have brought this issue up with my husband many times and we've fought a lot about it too. All he could say was to let them be. As much as i understand how hard it is for husbands to be torn between their mothers and wives but believe me when i say that it still hurts. I kinda came to my own resolution which isnt easy but Im trying. I simple give up bending over backwards for them. I still speak to them respectfully when i see them but i keep interactions/visits to what is required. Fights with my husband on such issue is declining and whats most important is my state of emotions and mind isnt suffering anymore. I believe that ultimately as mothers we need to take care and prioritise the happiness of our little family and ourselves first. No point trying so hard to make other people happy but we suffer. Hope that helps. Dont beat yourself up too much about it. Hugs!
This is indeed a tricky situation but can tell you r putting in a lot of effort to please them . Everyone makes mistakes, not saying it was your fault 4 years ago . Most people say can forgive but they wont forget actually it's the other way round. Have your tried buying gifts or plan a family gathering at your house? Some family activities may be able to bring you guys closer. Please also do talk to your husband about how you feel.
Ur husb really need to talk to his family members. Respect is one thing. You re talking abt life time. He got to fix this. To marry someone else daughter should be treated well. As you knw u hv made a mistake, its ok. Learn frm it. Try to be a gd daug in law. Involve in actvities like cooking for them doing house work. Bring your mil out for a high tea. Hoped things get better mummy. Stay strong ok.
I think u guys shld have a talk esp ur husband should talk to his family to help resolve
I believe your Husband have to come in to help.
Anonymous