Losyang na..

Just posting this to vent out. I know maraming mommies here na mas may legit stress than me so I’m sorry but please bear with me. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito ako recently pero madalas akong malungkot pag nakikita ko sarili ko at katawan ko. Siguro dahil sobrang busy these past few wks si hubby sa work to the point na wala na syang time halos samin,sa akin😕. Madalas sumagi sa isip ko nitong mga nakaraan,bakit kung kelan may partner ako,saka naman ako nalosyang😭. I was a single mom for 6.5yrs. Nagstart akong mag work when my daughter turned 14 months. I’m earning really well,merong hobbies,always with friends. Part ng work ko ang pagtatravel locally. All is well Nung naging kami ni hubby,pinatigil na nya ako sa work at sya na lang nagsupport sa family at daughter ko. In other words,nastuck na lang ako sa apat na sulok ng condo which was okay for me. Until nabuntis ako with our son. Ang dami lalong changes. Lalo na sa sarili ko,sa katawan ko,sa itsura ko. Hindi naman ako mahilig talagang mag ayos pero mejo okay naman ako before and at least before,naaalagaan ko ang katawan ko. Ngayon grabe🤦🏼‍♀️ Stretchmarks,dry skin,baby pouch,eyebags,hairfall. Feeling ko mukha na lang akong yaya ng anak ko. Don’t get me wrong,sobrang walang problema kay hubby. I’m very well provided. He still cooks food for me in between his busy hours,he still hugs me and tells me I’m pretty. He still thanks me for being a good and strong mom for our son pero deep inside,I can’t shake that feeling of being disappointed with myself. While browsing my gallery,I noticed na I don’t even take pictures of myself anymore. Puro picture ng anak ko. Habang nawiwili akong mag alaga ng anak ko,habang lumalalim yung love ko sa kanila,nawawalan na din pala ako ng panahon na mahalin at alagaan sarili ko. I love my family,no questions about that. But I just miss my old self. I feel incomplete and lost right now. Just sad. Just sharing some photos of me for self appreciation. First photo was taken very recently while the last 3 were before I met my husband