Teen Mom

Hello po. ☺️ Would like to share my story and ask for some advices. I hope no one will judge me po, hindi po kasi yun yung kailangan ko ngayon. I'm 18, got a boyfriend when I was 16. We're almost 2 years. I know it's too early but I don't regret having him. I have a family who only supports physically and financially (even though mahirap lng kami, nabibigay naman yung mga kinakailangan kapag pera na), hindi po emotionally. Instead na they're giving me motivations, they're doing the opposite without knowing it. Akala nila tinatanggap ko yun lahat as a challenge pero mas lalo akong nadadown. Mabuti yung pagpalaki sakin ng mama ko, nagkamali lng po talaga ako sa mga desisyon ko. Nung High School pa ako, nandun lahat yung stress and pressure kasi unti-unti na tayong namumulat sa totoong laban ng buhay. Ito yung times na kailangan ko ng emotional support because I don't know how to face the world, yung mga paghihirap sa school (big deal pa yung struggle sa school kasi grade conscious pa and wants to have a better life), and yung peer pressures. Wala akong masabihan sa family ko. I suffered from severe depression and always attempted suicide pero maybe it's still not my time. And that's how I met my boyfriend. He had the same situation, kaya nag click kami. Naiintindihan namin yung nararamdaman ng isa't isa. Hanggang sa naging sandalan ko sya and vice versa. Pareho naming naging inspiration and isa't isa and makikita talaga yung improvement namin sa studies. Somehow gumaan yung depression ko, and naiiwas ko na ang self-harming. Sabay grumaduate sa High School, sabay nagpunta ng City and sabay nagCollege (Both our parents were living in the province kaya sarili lang namin maasahan dito sa city). But life in city really had a big difference than life in the province. We were involved in pre-marital sex. And pareho naming ginusto yun, kahit na alam naming mali. Yes, alam namin yung mali sa tama, but we're still growing up, and hindi pa namin alam lahat ng bagay-bagay. Until such time na hindi ako dinatnan for 4 months (binalewala ko lang po kase I have irregular periods) and nagsusuka na ako minsan. This January, I used a pregnancy test and sabay namin tiningnan, it was positive. Tumatalon yung boyfriend ko sa tuwa because we're going to have a baby kahit na maaga pa, it's still a blessing. Hindi ko pinakita sakanya agad-agad yung reactions ko kase I don't want to interrupt his happiness. I'm also happy but I'm still in a state of shock. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko and the first thing na pumasok sa isip ko ay hindi ko ipapaalam sa family ko. Alam kong hindi nila matatanggap and alam kong itatakwil nila ako. As of now, we're planning to look for a place na kung saan pwede naming buhayin si baby on our own (he has still not yet decided kung ipapaalam nya sa parents nya because of disappointments). I've stopped going to school and hindi ko pa pinaalam sa parents ko, I'm going to start a job para may pangtustos and yung partner ko rin (pagsasabayin nya yung studies and work). He's willing to support me. Kapag nakapagipon na ako, hindi na ako magpaparamdam sa family ko kasi nahihiya ako sa naging situation ko and ayaw ko nang dumagdag pa sa problema nila. Hindi rin naman nila ako maiintindihan. I'm having some research about sa pregnancy, and hindi pa ako nakapagcheck-up kaya hindi ko pa alam ilang buwan na akong buntis pero visible na yung baby bump ko so I think my baby is 4 months na. I know most of you think na mali yung nagawa ko at gagawin ko. Pero sa tingin ko ito yung mas makakabuti sa amin. For me, now is the time to distance myself from my family kasi from my experiences, sila yung toxic (sorry) sa life ko. To those parents who understands me, can you give me some advice and comfort? ?