10 Replies
Everyone has stories to tell wjen it comes to in laws and their side of family. But i feel most importantly is the union with your husband. Unity is important, if he understands what you like, how you are feeling get him to stand up for you. Also consider the fact its his family he us dealing with so he cant go as hardcore as you. But having his heart at the right place, your side, understanding you is very important. If you do not wish to have your inlaws to come over so often, tell him! Say... Can we just let your parents come once a week? Because i want my space. But also gotta give in to give them time spend with their grand children la. If you don't like how they beat around the bush, just tell straight in a good manner "what do u mean? Can you say clearer? Are u saying i should work?" I'm a very straight forward person too, so thats how i really talk to my in laws, n they know im not being rude. I just like to get straight to the point n tell them my reason behind my decision. Rather than holding grudges hating them. Also understand, we are born straightforward but others are born beating around the bush. Maybe they have been like that for their entire life ardy. So y bother them to change, as long hubby know your plan n direction. The rest are just extended families. Not much important :)
Different family backgrounds often causes husband and wife to have different ways of dealing with conflicts. It's natural and it'll be the same for your children when they grow up and marry too. Instead of looking at divorce, have a logical talk with your husband and avoid being too emotional about it? Solve the issue together because you are a TEAM as husband and wife, as a family unit. Even if you found another 'better' guy, there will also be another set of family issues to deal with. So, since you guys have been through so much together now and are blessed with a son, make it work! Maybe other generations are so used to talking their ways and it's hard to change. But what we can change is ourselves and the way we see them. Take it with a pinch of salt. Sometimes if you are super nice to them, they'll suddenly be taken aback and realise their own gaps. Or give them the warmth that they've never experienced. Maybe their own parents treat them this way too and thus their current behaviour. Hope it'll work out for you. There'll always be conflicts. But marriage is resilient because you can weather through storms together.
I stayed with my in laws for 4 long years and i hated it. The moment i got my house i cut as much ties with them and only met them during festive occasions or dinner once in awhile. I made it clear to my husband that he is free to visit his family but they have made me suffer with all their drama and whatnots since marriage so i will limit my contact with them whenever possible. I guess having limited physical contact would be best so you can stay sane and your marriage wont have to go thru unnescesary negativity from all this. Its a win-win situation. May you be given the strength to withstand your in laws 💪
I can understand what you are going through. My family and my husband's family are also very different and it is hard for me to talk to them nicely when they don't talk straight. But you and your husband need to talk and make some rules that work for your household -- like having fixed meal days with his parents and yours , so that they know when they are welcome and when they are not. This is not worth fighting with your husband with...I think you are angry right now...take a deep breath and then talk to your husband. you should work on becoming financially independent anyway
You are much better that your house is coming. I don’t like to stay with in laws too. They always nag and nag and repeat the same things over and over again. Sometimes I just wish they could shut their mouth, more over sometimes I had enough I just gave attitude and my hub just scolded me. I was like wtfffff laaa.. I really hate marriage life, I have always missed my family and feel like going back to them everyday. Sighhhhh
Be upfront on how you feel or want to tell them. Better than beat around the bush. Try telling your hubby about this when you're not feeling frustrated about it. No matter what, they're his family members and he could feel hurt when you felt this way towards his family. Likewise, you do not want him to felt this way about your family. Remember to give & take ❤️ hugs
Different family different upbringing therefore we need to come to a conclusion. Maybe if you feel insecure you can ask your husband to tell them to call you beforehand if they want to drop by. I usually give and take as its their grandchild too. So I have to be on a fair side. This week grandparents side my husband next week mine.
Suggest you to set a schedule and get them to inform you before heading up your place. After all you are not wrong to ask for privacy of your own home. Good to discuss your issues with your husband and see how you guys can work things out.
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Accidentally read one article. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/boundaries-parents-in-laws-kids_l_5e1cf4e0c5b6da971d1b29e4?ncid=NEWSSTAND0001