My mother in law just sent me a photo of my son dressed in a dress and with his hair tied up for fun. I am quite upset about it but my friends are telling me it's ok. Do you think it is wrong for her to do that?

I think it's a normal thing and cross dressing that most children do. Children would know by the time whether they are boys or girls. It is usual for preschool boys and girls to dress up in clothes of the other sex as a way of trying out what it is like to be a man or a woman, a father or a mother. Generally this kind of cross dressing does not last. It is part of all of the child's play activities, and not any more important to the child than other play. Cross dressing in play like this is a healthy way for young children to learn about and think about the world they live in.

I think it's not appropriate. I will not allow anyone to dress my son in girl's clothes. I believe that the experiences that children go through during their childhood are crucial to their future development and have direct impacts on their characters. Moreover, it may embarrass the boy if he or his friends realized that there is a photo of him in girl's clothes. If I'm in your shoes, I'll let my mother in law understand my view and advise her to delete the photo and not to do it again.

I do not think it's inappropriate. You may have a set notion of what your boy should be dressed as or who he should be friends with. But that may not be his wish. Let him enjoy his days and worry about these things when he becomes a teenager. However, if you feel that your MIL has breached your trust or she has done something that you feel is inappropriate, you must convey your feelings to her.

My MIL clipped hair band on my son's hair one or twice before and I find it cute too. However, if she does that often and too extreme, I will tell her not to do that again. For girl dress I will not accept as it is too extreme! If you do not like your MIL to do that, you can talk to her nicely about your feeling and I believe she will not do it again since you do not like it.

I think you have a right to be upset - he is your child and it sounds like you feel that your mother in law breached your trust by doing something that you don't feel is appropriate. I would have a conversation with her about your expectations. Personally, I wouldn't mind. Kids play dress up sometimes! It is just a way of experimenting and understanding the world.

I think it's fine. I don't think there should be anything offensive about boys dressing up in girl's clothes and vice versa. This not only teaches them to embrace their identity but to appreciate diversity. We should lighten up. Adele thinks it's cool: http://ph.theasianparent.com/adele-let-her-son-dress-up-as-princess-anna-from-frozen/

If this is a one off occurrence, i wouldn't make that much of a big deal about it. I would still talk to my mother-in-law about the fact that although it is a funny picture she shouldn't have the intention to keep doing it as it my adversely impact my child's self image.

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I think there is nothing wrong with your mother in law. But i will note to myself not to keep my son's hair grow too long, and told him how to resist anyone even his grandma wear him that kind of dress.

thanks