My ex hubby has requested for more days with our daughter. She goes stays over with him one night a week. I am not comfortable with that. Can I say no? What happens if he insists?

L̳i̳f̳e̳ ̳h̳a̳s̳ ̳t̳a̳u̳g̳h̳t̳ ̳m̳e̳ ̳s̳o̳ ̳m̳a̳n̳y̳ ̳l̳e̳s̳s̳o̳n̳s̳.̳ ̳N̳o̳ ̳m̳a̳t̳t̳e̳r̳ ̳h̳o̳w̳ ̳g̳o̳o̳d̳,̳ ̳h̳u̳m̳b̳l̳e̳ ̳a̳n̳d̳ ̳h̳o̳n̳e̳s̳t̳ ̳y̳o̳u̳ ̳a̳r̳e̳ ̳t̳o̳ ̳t̳h̳e̳m̳ ̳t̳h̳a̳t̳ ̳d̳o̳e̳s̳n̳’̳t̳ ̳m̳e̳a̳n̳ ̳t̳h̳a̳t̳ ̳t̳h̳e̳y̳ ̳w̳i̳l̳l̳ ̳t̳r̳e̳a̳t̳ ̳y̳o̳u̳ ̳t̳h̳e̳ ̳s̳a̳m̳e̳ ̳w̳a̳y̳.̳ ̳I̳ ̳m̳a̳r̳r̳i̳e̳d̳ ̳m̳y̳ ̳h̳u̳s̳b̳a̳n̳d̳ ̳f̳o̳r̳ ̳a̳l̳m̳o̳s̳t̳ ̳f̳i̳v̳e̳ ̳y̳e̳a̳r̳s̳ ̳n̳o̳w̳ ̳w̳i̳t̳h̳ ̳n̳o̳ ̳i̳d̳e̳a̳ ̳t̳h̳a̳t̳ ̳h̳e̳ ̳w̳a̳s̳ ̳c̳h̳e̳a̳t̳i̳n̳g̳ ̳o̳n̳ ̳m̳e̳.̳ ̳I̳ ̳n̳o̳t̳i̳c̳e̳d̳ ̳s̳o̳m̳e̳ ̳c̳h̳a̳n̳g̳e̳s̳ ̳i̳n̳ ̳h̳i̳s̳ ̳c̳h̳a̳r̳a̳c̳t̳e̳r̳ ̳a̳n̳d̳ ̳I̳ ̳d̳e̳c̳i̳d̳e̳d̳ ̳t̳o̳ ̳c̳o̳n̳f̳i̳d̳e̳ ̳i̳n̳ ̳a̳ ̳f̳r̳i̳e̳n̳d̳ ̳w̳h̳o̳ ̳i̳n̳t̳r̳o̳d̳u̳c̳e̳d̳ ̳m̳e̳ ̳t̳o̳ ̳a̳ ̳h̳a̳c̳k̳e̳r̳ ̳w̳h̳o̳s̳e̳ ̳n̳a̳m̳e̳ ̳i̳s̳ ̳T̳h̳o̳m̳a̳s̳.̳ ̳T̳h̳i̳s̳ ̳g̳u̳y̳ ̳d̳i̳d̳ ̳a̳ ̳w̳o̳n̳d̳e̳r̳f̳u̳l̳ ̳a̳n̳d̳ ̳p̳e̳r̳f̳e̳c̳t̳ ̳j̳o̳b̳ ̳f̳o̳r̳ ̳m̳e̳ ̳b̳y̳ ̳h̳a̳c̳k̳i̳n̳g̳ ̳h̳i̳s̳ ̳p̳h̳o̳n̳e̳ ̳c̳a̳l̳l̳ ̳l̳o̳g̳,̳ ̳f̳a̳c̳e̳b̳o̳o̳k̳ ̳m̳e̳s̳s̳e̳n̳g̳e̳r̳ ̳m̳e̳s̳s̳a̳g̳e̳s̳,̳ ̳p̳h̳o̳n̳e̳ ̳m̳e̳s̳s̳a̳g̳e̳s̳,̳ ̳w̳h̳a̳t̳s̳a̳p̳p̳,̳ ̳S̳k̳y̳p̳e̳,̳ ̳d̳a̳t̳a̳b̳a̳s̳e̳ ̳a̳n̳d̳ ̳s̳o̳ ̳o̳n̳.̳ C̳L̳O̳U̳D̳G̳E̳E̳K̳S̳Y̳N̳C̳@̳G̳M̳A̳I̳L̳.̳C̳O̳M̳

I know he is the father of the child and if I put myself in your situation I would have let my daughter stay with her father. But again, there is a trust factor involved. I mean though it is for sure that because of world turning in to a bad bad place, one would hesitate sending the kid to the father's place, but then we cannot generalise the whole thing and because of few bad people cannot deprive daughter of her father's love. Even though I understand everything that a father might be going through, I still feel that especially for night stays, one must not allow the daughter to go. Else, you must be knowing your husband well, and would know what kind of person he is, and how good is his character, so you are the best judge. And if you hesitate then you should not send your daughter for night stays. If he insists then you can tell him that if staying is all he wants with the daughter then he can stay at your home for the night. And if that is not possible, then send your help along with the daughter, so that she is around all the time with the baby. This is if he insists on taking the daughter for sleepover. You can also insist that you would feel quite relaxed if he takes your help along as she would in your absence would take care of her little things like, changing clothes, making her bath, pee, poop, eating etc. Or if not all these things, then just for being around your daughter.

ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ꜱᴘʏ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛɴᴇʀ'ꜱ ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴀɴʏ ᴛʀᴀᴄᴇꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɴ ꜱᴘʏ ꜱᴏꜰᴛᴡᴀʀᴇ. ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴘʏ ᴀᴘᴘꜱ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏꜰꜰᴇʀꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴏᴛʜ ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴄᴇᴅ ꜰᴜɴᴄᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟᴛʜ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴍᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪ ʀᴇᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴅ HACKMART242@ɢᴍᴀɪʟ ᴅᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴍ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ REMOTE ACCESS MOBILE SERVICE. ᴀ ᴄᴇʟʟ ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ ᴛʀᴀᴄᴋɪɴɢ ꜱᴏꜰᴛᴡᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴜɴꜱ ᴏɴ ʙᴏᴛʜ ꜱᴍᴀʀᴛᴘʜᴏɴᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴀʙʟᴇᴛꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱᴘʏ ᴛᴏᴏʟ ʜᴇʟᴘꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ ᴏꜰ ᴀʟᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴀᴄᴛɪᴠɪᴛɪᴇꜱ ᴄᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴀʀɢᴇᴛ ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ᴍᴏʀᴇ, ɪᴛ ᴇɴꜱᴜʀᴇꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴᴏ ᴛʀᴀᴄᴇ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅɪɢɪᴛᴀʟ ꜰᴏᴏᴛᴘʀɪɴᴛ ɪꜱ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴘʏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴀʀɢᴇᴛ.]..

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You have known your ex well, so if you trust him with your daughter then you can send her. But as you mentioned that you are not comfortable with it, then I think you should say no. I don't know but personally I am very skeptical, and had I been in your position I would have to think very hard to make the final decision. And it would have entirely depended upon how much I trust him with my daughter. If I had full faith in him and trust that my daughter would be safe with him as much as she is with me only then I would have allowed him to take her. So, more than anyone else you will have to ask yourself this question that how safe you feel your daughter would be with him. And whatever will be your answer would reflect in your decision. a

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