My mother in law has been a big help with the baby - but she is always around - and insists that the baby be in her room at night - so that I can get some sleep. As a result I am getting no "alone time" with my baby. It is making me feel miserable...but she is so helpful - how do i say something without hurting her feelings.
Thank you so much for your sensible suggestions...
You're so lucky! But yes, while I envy you, I understand your concern. Perhaps you could have a sit down talk with your mother-in-law (MIL). If she is so helpful and concerned about you, I am sure she would understand your concern about bonding. Afterall, she is a mother herself and would know the importance of bonding. Before you start on the topic of wanting to bond more with your son, tell her that you have appreciated her help that she has willingly rendered and that you are grateful for it. "Melt her" a little bit before you get to the point. You'll score some brownies points too.Read more
I think you can try just speaking and explaining to her how you feel. Since her intention was for you to get some sleep, you can let her know that you really appreciate her help and would not mind having the baby with you at night (so that your mother-in-law can get some rest too!). Recognize and appreciate her effort so that she would not misunderstood your reason for wanting to spend more time with the baby.Read more
I use the pretext of breastfeeding. So every time baby cries, I tell her, oh time for breastfeeding. And then I take baby to my room and shut the door and take baby out of the room once I feel I have had enough alone time ;pRead more
Why not make it a routine, like alternate days routine. Just let her know, you will like to bond with baby despite tired, and letting her know, you also a mother, will be able to feel how i feel, i really miss the baby. Before it's getting out of hand, and you really got no chance to have time with ur baby, be firm. Like, "don't worry, you should be resting, tomorrow long day for you and baby again, just let me handle her night." Even if it's only at night, but sleeping together with baby is best bonding time. Throughout the day, my gmil play with him, bring him go down for a walk, but when it's come to napping or sleeping time, he will always look for me. If not, when your baby is older, baby don't want you and only follow grandma, than you will be more hurtful that time.Read more
Tell he that you care about her health and would want your baby to be with you so she could rest.
Try speaking to her. saying that you are worry that those sleepless night will take a toll on her health and body.
be careful what you wish for ;) My wife & I sleep in different rooms previously for obvious reasons. I did the night duty by bring our son to my room and she kept accusing of trying to take our son away and I don't know how to take care bah bah bah. I had enough of false allegation and stopped for a few days, she woke up her idea and found out is better I take care of our son at night. Woman being stubborn won't say it out but she will use the pretext by saying accusing I'm tired and cannot take care of baby. I got the hint and just roll the babycot into my room -.-Read more
- They always always carry my baby out of the room. I dont even have a single time with my own baby . Haha. I am the mother but than I only can spend time with my baby when she is sleeping and the decided to finally bring her back into the room . Then when baby wakes up in the middle of the night, they sleep so soundly and I have to be the one taking care . like i dont even noe anymore
Could it be they want to let you to rest more so that you are able to handle your baby at night? If isn't, you may want to tell them nicely to let you spend some time with your baby during the day. If they are your in-law, then let your husband be the speaker.Anonymous
- My mother in law constantly nags at me and goes out of her way to show me how unhappy she is with me! I do my best to help her around the house but there is always something she manages to pick on! I get so frustrated at times and I try to speak to my husband about it but he does his best to neither listen nor do anything about the matter. I'm worried and I do not know if my marriage will last. . .
It is so easy to find fault in someone, especially when living together. Have a chat with your husband. Ask him to ask your mother-in-law point blank what exactly does she expect you to do and why is she always so unhappy with you. But it is important he does so in a non confrontational way (or she may think that you are trying to sabotage their relationship). If not, if you feel up to it, ask her yourself. Some mother-in-laws, when they can feel your sincerity in trying to make things work, may become less critical. Though I cannot say that it's the case for all. So it really depends on your mother-in-law's personality. Have a chat with your hubby, and see which approach may be the best (as he should know his mother best). Hang in there mummy!Anonymous
- I'm really pissed off with my MIL. Firstly she has caused so much of problems between me and my husband with her drama and bullshit throughout my whole relationship with him. Right now I'm 5 months pregnant.. Currently staying in a rental room while waiting for our house.. She rejected us moving back there so that we can save more money and even offered to pay her instead. She mentioned that she does not care for me or the baby and inform to my husband that only he is allowed to come back to her house and if he insists of bringing me I must not eat after 9pm. Really ridiculous so my mum took us in to live with her in her 2 room flat which I'm truly grateful for. After my husband broke the news to her that we are expecting a baby girl she told him how excited she was and cnt wait to buy stuff for the baby. How pissed I am like you cannot diss the parents and pretend like nothing happen yet want to be a part of the baby's life. What do you mummies think? Is it right for me to not let her be part of my daughter's life as since day 1 she has always been so toxic.
Her attitude is total Rubbish. I'll be verrryyy reluctant to let her be close to baby. "Excited" my foot!! Now then wanna he excited lah?! Haiyoooh. It's better to be distant rather than getting heartaches.Anonymous