My mother in law has been a big help with the baby - but she is always around - and insists that the baby be in her room at night - so that I can get some sleep. As a result I am getting no "alone time" with my baby. It is making me feel miserable...but she is so helpful - how do i say something without hurting her feelings.

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Thank you so much for your sensible suggestions...

You're so lucky! But yes, while I envy you, I understand your concern. Perhaps you could have a sit down talk with your mother-in-law (MIL). If she is so helpful and concerned about you, I am sure she would understand your concern about bonding. Afterall, she is a mother herself and would know the importance of bonding. Before you start on the topic of wanting to bond more with your son, tell her that you have appreciated her help that she has willingly rendered and that you are grateful for it. "Melt her" a little bit before you get to the point. You'll score some brownies points too.

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I think you can try just speaking and explaining to her how you feel. Since her intention was for you to get some sleep, you can let her know that you really appreciate her help and would not mind having the baby with you at night (so that your mother-in-law can get some rest too!). Recognize and appreciate her effort so that she would not misunderstood your reason for wanting to spend more time with the baby.

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I use the pretext of breastfeeding. So every time baby cries, I tell her, oh time for breastfeeding. And then I take baby to my room and shut the door and take baby out of the room once I feel I have had enough alone time ;p

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Why not make it a routine, like alternate days routine. Just let her know, you will like to bond with baby despite tired, and letting her know, you also a mother, will be able to feel how i feel, i really miss the baby. Before it's getting out of hand, and you really got no chance to have time with ur baby, be firm. Like, "don't worry, you should be resting, tomorrow long day for you and baby again, just let me handle her night." Even if it's only at night, but sleeping together with baby is best bonding time. Throughout the day, my gmil play with him, bring him go down for a walk, but when it's come to napping or sleeping time, he will always look for me. If not, when your baby is older, baby don't want you and only follow grandma, than you will be more hurtful that time.

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Tell he that you care about her health and would want your baby to be with you so she could rest.

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Try speaking to her. saying that you are worry that those sleepless night will take a toll on her health and body.

be careful what you wish for ;) My wife & I sleep in different rooms previously for obvious reasons. I did the night duty by bring our son to my room and she kept accusing of trying to take our son away and I don't know how to take care bah bah bah. I had enough of false allegation and stopped for a few days, she woke up her idea and found out is better I take care of our son at night. Woman being stubborn won't say it out but she will use the pretext by saying accusing I'm tired and cannot take care of baby. I got the hint and just roll the babycot into my room -.-

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