My baby is co-sleeping with my mom since they had a visit to our province when she was 4 months old and stayed there for a month. When they came back, baby cries in the middle of the night when she finds out that I’m the one beside her. Then I just allowed her to go with her grandma on bed times (provides baby with my bottled breastmilk). Will we have lesser connection when she grows up? She still cries when I leave her for work though. Did I make a wrong move?
Here is a great article (though lengthy) on creating a secure attachment with your baby. http://psychcentral.com/lib/five-ways-to-create-a-secure-attachment-with-your-baby-without-sharing-your-bed/ One key takeaway I got from it is that attachment does not necessarily means constant togetherness. The important point is that the baby has a regular caregiver in the first six months of his/her life, as that is the period they seek security. The lack of a constant figure may create unnecessary stress for the baby. For now, continue to shower your baby with love, care and attention whenever you can. Soothe her when she fusses and breastfeed her after work. Breastfeeding is the best bonding time for mother and baby. It is really great that your baby has a doting grandmother whom she is comfortable with. You can still bond with your daughter and be there for her when she needs comforting.Read more
Sounds like she does not feel very secure around him. The same suggestions apply as the key is to let your daughter feels safe and secure. It is natural that your daughter looks to you or your mom as her primary caregivers since both of you were her main sources of comfort in times of distress. Some suggestions on what your husband could do to improve his bonding with her: - bottle feeding and helping with changing her diaper (you could be around for the first few times, in case things get messy) - reading or singing to her - giving her a bath - mirroring her movements - bringing her out and using a front baby carrier during routine activities - letting her touch his face to feel the different textures of dad's face Hope this helps!Read more
So happy to hear that improving my attachment to baby can be just at my fingertips! Thanks for the shared articles. However, may I know if this applies to my husband, too? I'm afraid baby is more resistant to him. I mean she cries when her daddy tries to carry her and she looks around and look for her grandma or me instead to get her away from him.Read more
Why don't you try to latch her to improve bonding? Don't worry, babies will always recognise their mother. Or you can try to care for her as much as possible by bathing, feeding and interacting with her as much as you can. http://sg.theasianparent.com/ways-of-bonding-with-your-baby/Read more
Ha! This sounds really helpful!! :) Will let husband see these soonest tonight. Thank you so much!