Advice please.

Hello mummies, I have a bad trait of parenting and I would like to change it. I would like to seek advice. Thank you. I used to live in a bad environment. One abusive parent and another one use me as a sandbag verbally. They tend to verbally abuse me whenever they fret up. I realised that I did that a few times. I try my best not to be like them. But it's so difficult. I feel so guilty for doing the same for my children. I want to stop it once and for all. I don't want to release my stress and upsetness to my children. I'm a housewife. People around me tell me that my world revolves around my children and I have no hobbies or interests, that's why I couldn't de-stress. But my hobby is cooking. I love to find ways to cook my dishes better and find a new recipes to cook. I think I cannot handle stress and my emotions well. Is there any link I can read up on to better help me with managing these? So that I would vent out to my children. Thank you.

Anonymous

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Wow. Your family mustve love your cooking! Theyre so lucky!! How old are your kids? If they are big enuff to help you out with cooking, maybe cn cook together and hv bonding time frm that. Maybe also cn talk to husband abt it. For me personally, i will be in better mood if my husband doesnt make me angry. Haha. To control your anger, maybe cn try looking at your kids as a responsibility from God. I alwaes tell myself we are the ones who really want kids and we are the one who initiated to bring them into this world so it’s our responsibility to care for them, physically and emotionally. They didnt ask to be born to be treated badly. Very unfair to break their hearts and let them grow with it. So talk to them with respect so to show that this is how other ppl and they themselves should treat others. Maybe give yourself a break, take short walks or a small trip to get ice cream or any desserts you like. And spend time eating it peacefully, then come home happy🥰

No parent has the perfect parenting style. We will all make mistakes. But Im of the belief that if its based on true love for our child, then it somehow works out in the end. Your self awareness and effort to change though are very commendable. Finding things that relaxes you or makes you happy helps in managing stress and emotions. Cooking is one of those ways. Light exercises like walking especially in the park helps. A good bath and massage too. It has to be something you like. Meditation is also good. When you can, find a quiet place to just be still. Or listen to positive energy music. Here is a YouTube vid of one of my favorites- https://youtu.be/xXDC5xGy8wo. Hope this helps. Dont be too hard on yourself. You are already a step ahead to being better. Take care

you live in a bad environment (used to) now , you have kids they're supposed to be your companion, your life , laughter, smiles , strength i already feel guilty as a mom for beating my girl on the arm and legs . I also have no hobbies , i have no friends , only my girl .. if you took a pic right after you delivered your babies , take a look at the pics .. and I always remember one thing , if god can give you .. he will take it back when no one can appreciate.. i always remind myself that 😊

i think it will be the best if you can see a therapist to help with healing your own trauma from childhood, from there it will make a big difference not just in parenting but also your life overall. there's nothing wrong with cooking as your hobby especially if it brings u joy and ur family also gets to enjoy your delicious cooking! can follow @ourlittleplaynest in Instagram for parenting tips especially how to manage our anger when disciplining kids etc.

write down your daily goals on a piece of paper. stand in front of the mirror every morning and night - and be your own best cheer leader and tell yourself I can do it ! . mind over matter , sometimes we just need to adjust the program in our brains.. and do something different the next time to change things for the better :)

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