Advice please.

Hello mummies, I have a bad trait of parenting and I would like to change it. I would like to seek advice. Thank you. I used to live in a bad environment. One abusive parent and another one use me as a sandbag verbally. They tend to verbally abuse me whenever they fret up. I realised that I did that a few times. I try my best not to be like them. But it's so difficult. I feel so guilty for doing the same for my children. I want to stop it once and for all. I don't want to release my stress and upsetness to my children. I'm a housewife. People around me tell me that my world revolves around my children and I have no hobbies or interests, that's why I couldn't de-stress. But my hobby is cooking. I love to find ways to cook my dishes better and find a new recipes to cook. I think I cannot handle stress and my emotions well. Is there any link I can read up on to better help me with managing these? So that I would vent out to my children. Thank you.