feeling judged as working mom...

Sometimes, being a working mother is a choice we make consciously. For me, pursuing a career as a working woman was a dream I chased, but when I had children, I started to feel the pressure from the judgmental eyes around me. Every day, as I strive to juggle work tasks and care for my children, I feel like I'm being scrutinized. My in-laws often inquire about my children with a tone of pity, as if they doubt my abilities as a working mother. Even my own parents sometimes make comments that make me feel inadequate. When we visit their house, there are often remarks implying that I don't give enough attention to my children, or that I should spend more time at home. They even compare me to my sister-in-law, who is a stay-at-home mom, without understanding the reality behind closed doors. They don't even know, my sister-in-law whom they proudly boast about, what her real behavior is like out there. She often gossips and talks negatively about others, she's extravagant, and it's not uncommon for her to show hatred. My husband always tries to reassure me that I'm a great mother and that I'm doing everything well. However, sometimes the negative words and looks from my in-laws and parents make me feel defeated and powerless. Has anyone else experienced something similar? How do you cope with these feelings? I would like to hear experiences and advice from all of you. Thank you for your time and attention.

Anonymous

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Ignore those naysayers. They'll nvr know since they don't experience it themselves. I'm a working mom and yes, every single day I feel guilty for leaving my kids in childcare/infantcare. As a teacher myself, I'm even spending more time with other ppl's kids than my own. Yes, I do have annoying ppl telling me why don't you just care for your own kids instead of giving them to other ppl to be taken care of. Easy for them to say. Many times I've thought of quitting esp when my kids are sick and annoying supervisor telling me not to take too many childcare leave (I did not even use up all for goodness sake!) But having elderly parents without retirement savings mean I NEED to work. Ughh hate how our society, including employer (civil service included) aren't understanding at all. So much for championing family friendly practices because unfortunately not all being treated that way. Sorry ranting abt a different issue but still it sucks being judged whatever decision we make as a mom 😩

Sometimes I feel that way too. I'm also a working mother, but curiously enough, I get those looks from my colleagues when I say tt the baby is in ifc haha. Like baby so young go ifc, so poor thing. While it's definitely not pleasant to feel judged,I am aware tt being a SAHM will drive me nuts. So, I simply choose to focus on my family when I'm home and put work aside. After all, I'm the one going through it ,not others. They can say all they want,but I'm earning my keep, I made arrangements for my baby's care the best I could, so my conscience is clear. Also, happy mummy, happy baby. If mummy is happy, I think that matters just as much as the baby.

As a SAHM, I have to say I really salute working mums! It’s not easy to juggle work and children. I personally know I won’t be able to handle the stress. You are doing a very good job, please trust yourself on that. There is no best of both world, you choose SAH, you have no income. End of the day, you’re not neglecting your child 24/7, you are sacrificing your time with them to be able to provide the best for their future. Always remember that your life, your child and your choice, no one has the rights to put you down for that. Not even your own parents.

I'm a SAHM and I get the opposite. Like how could I only let my husband work and I stay at home. A few things said here and there I ignored and laughed at but I still feel it. What's important is what you and your husband have agreed on. Anybody else's opinions are not important. You kinda have to learn to shove it out and do what makes you happy. It's a different generation now and the older ones have to deal with that.

You do you. You’re teaching your children, especially girls, that chasing dreams is not only for men. Your parents and in laws are old school, maybe. Do they hold the same expectation towards your hb too? Stand up for yourself. Some ppl only learnt to respect others after getting bashed

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