6 Replies
I'm a single mum and I live with my own parents. All I can say is that it'll be a constant struggle, but you have to stand your ground! My parents belong in the generation where formula was known to be better than breast milk, that "traditional remedies" are better for any age, sparing the rod will spoil the child etc. So they prefer to use shouting, scolding, insults, negative remarks and beating to get their point across. Me, on the other hand, prefer the gentle/peaceful parenting method of trying to understand his needs, his frustrations, why he's behaving the way he is, solving things calmly. We get into conflict when something happens because my parents would beat my son and I'd try to protect him and get him to calm down because he is easily shaken and really scared of it happening. There's also things like giving formula, "traditional remedy" and the smallest of parenting differences that I couldn't stand - so I used to hide formula when I had sufficient breast milk stored (was an exclusively pumping mum and my parents looked after my son when I was in school, they prefer formula because it's easier to make and they think it's better so breast milk goes to waste). We would also have conflicts over them trying to make decisions for my son, completing ignoring the fact that I'm his mother so I would stand my ground that he is MY son and not theirs. It takes time and patience, some arguments too - but you have to stand your ground for your own child!
hmmm... this is easy. you have to let your parent know... ehen they can budge in. cos u need to teach your kids who is the parent here. when i scold my kids and i told my kids that no one can help you. when i say tat i make sure my mom hear this too.... and when u discipline your kids. do behind close door. and also tell them they have to listen to you. one day when we move out of the house... the grandparents cant help them.
If your parents are your kid primary care giver, best is to seek alternative care giving arrangements. If talking to your parents doesn't work, best is to move out. These are the only ways to avoid further friction with your parents. I'm sure you don't wish to further strain the relationship to a point of no return. Besides, it's confusing for your kid to have to listen to differing opinions on the same thing. Good luck.
Try having a chat with your parents and set a "guideline" of what they should back out? Give and take a little but let them know what are the things you'll not accept? I'm sure all parents and grandparents wants the best for the kid and will try to do the best for them. Sometimes our parents needs a little nagging from us as well
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It happens. Try to take your kid outside more often for some 1-1 time. It will help foster the parent n child bond.