Help not wanting to stay with the in laws

Before marriage I don't have the intention to move in to stay with the laws, thought things will eventually change as days go by, but thats not the way, I don't do things, got said by MIL, I did the chores also said. Bring down the dried clothes keep aside where she usually put, so that I can have space to hang the washed clothes also not happy got complain. Anything got to do with my parents, like things that involve my parents side, and she don't like how they do. Also got mention. Really cannot stand her, seems like she trying to pick on me. Everytime said behind my back. Told my hubby, she had been saying thing on mean from the day I move in. He just keep num. Told him I want to get our own house just with him and baby...ya...now got a 10mths old baby. I really hope my child can have his own room. But he insist to stay with the parents and there is younger bro btw, even when we get bto. He still want to stay with them, saying is his responsibility as a elder son, but there is others way of taking care of them if we not staying together right?

Anonymous

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What responsibility as elder son lol? Then what about responsibility as a husband? Is his responsibility to LIVE with his parents or to TAKE CARE of his parents? And oh, if he say its his responsibility to take care of his parents, then it's NOT YOUR responsibility right? Don't tell me it's his responsibility to marry a wife so his wife can take care of his parents? What a joke! Tell him that's not how it works to take responsibility. He wants to take care of his parents? Great! Tell your husband to take over all the chores that your mil ask you to do and make sure his parents dont make mistake to be your responsibility. He wants to take responsibility right? Ask him take it then. Does your mil have a husband? If so, it's her husband job to take care of her, and your husband's job is to take care of you. Will he let you mistreat your mum? If he says he would not, then ask him why he would let his mum mistreat you. Ask your husband why he married you? Is it because he loves you or because he wants a maid or punching bag for his mum? if its the former (because he loves you), then remind him again that he married you because he loves you and show it. If not, I suggest just leave him asap because your life in future will be hell. How is it fair that you have to take care of him as well as his parents if you love him but he says he loves you but don't take care of your parents, and not even take care of you? 😒

For this, the only solution is to keep talking to your husband. Do not say mean things or complain about his family, let it be YOUR views. Not because of xxx you want to move out. Some guys really don’t like it as to them, they are in sandwiched position. Try soft approach. For your mil, fold her clothes when you bring down, whether anot she like it you have already done whatever you can. Don’t need to bother so much about your mil, focus on your baby. If you know she’s picking on you, even if you breathe is wrong. There is nothing you can do except doing your own part. That way even when she want to complain also got nothing to nitpick on. While doing this, speak to your husband on how you think moving out is better for LO and your family and that things and space are different now with a kid growing.

Im currently 8 months pregnant and been staying with in laws since i gt married. Definitely not recommended to stay with in laws no matter how nice they look before marriage. I also go talked about. Do something also say, dont do also say. She always always expect everyone in the house to ALWAYS do house chores esp on weekends. She would make noise when people dont wake up early to do chores. Even say when she pregnant last time she can do all that. Lol just have to suck it up. Whats worst me and husb have yet to get a house cs bto sbf all always get rejected. I also cannot tahan at all. I think itll be worse once i delivered. I think ill get more depressed because of her.

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Anonymous

1y ago

your situation is same as me 😔 try to get bto, balance flat, etc are always get rejected and I really wanna have own house so that not stay together with in law. Do you have any idea the reason bto is rejected?

U have to reiterate to ur hubby on below points :- 1. Even if moving out, have ur own small Cosy home, will able to visit his parents weekly, or even 3x a week. Responsibility does not mean staying with MIL, and if eventually RS turns sour, won’t it be worst? 2. If his mom n u gets more upset (or even quarrel face to face), the more he can’t have his “responsibility as son” shown as he will be caught in the middle. 3. Keep stressing to him that it’s healthier for baby needs his own room. 4. Not convenient for u in many ways especially his younger bro is at home!

Stayed with in law before for a year, what happened? Everyday quarrel with husband. Our relationship turned sour to the point every single day also have thing to quarrel about. Our BTO application also got rejected for many times, thats why can only stay with in law. However after a year we decided to rent outside instead and finally bought resale, life is so so much better!! Have a talk to your husband, depression is real! Esp postpartum depression and you shouldnt be stressed too much during pregnancy🥺🥺

share the matters with Ur hubby,may all go well to you soon. 🥰

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less friction when not staying with others in general...

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