Cheating

Hi mummies, how do you deal if you found out hubby has been chatting online with girls; consider it as cheating even thou u don't know if there's really an affair going on back then. But he said he regretted his action and want to be better. Would you given him 2nd chances for the sake of your marriage and your kids?

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Yes but I will be more careful n collecting evidence on my end n do not let him know what’s your planning. If he really does cheat, I will need to know what’s my next move. Eg financial , housing, custody, find out more on divorcing, lawyer fee, maintenance fee from him etc Collecting evidence n keep calm, get advise from lawyer n fight for child custody n will be mine n not his. Court will need to see evidence. I will concentrating on myself n kid(s) no matter what. To me If my hubby really has intention to cheat once, he can cheat 2nd & 3rd time then it will be never ending in cheating. Unless he can prove ( time will tell n u can sense it if u want to give another chance or not, or till u really cannot take it n got no choice then u know what’s e ans ) If you are SAHM, you may need to start go back work asap. Maintenance fee from him... But if you have financial issue, you may have to discuss further with family , get a lot of support n go for alternative plans. If you are working, maintenance fee from him, kid will be in school or someone can look after. But do take note, divorce is a Long process.

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2y ago

Appreciate your advice. Yes, it's a long process, and to think thru, Im expecting my 2nd one soon. So I don't want to go all stress and trouble to think about it. Of course, I won't trust/forgive him that easily.

Sorry to hear about it.. but based on my understanding from my guy friends, they tend to chat online at first but they will want to meet up outside. Not only the guys are itchy, but the girls out there are hungry to make money.. so yahh, eventually the girls will lead them on as they are the smart ones. But for now, stay calm and see if u can collect more evidence. Children below 7 yo custody is given to the mum, and having a supportive evidence will help alot.. pls note that divorce will take 8 months plus to process. The court will ask u n husband to come for few counselling sessions first, and that sessions are done in few months time. So yeahhh.. it is a tiring process..

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2y ago

Yes. Divorce was in my mind and to think thru, there alot of things/money/time involves. Also, I will be having my 2nd one soon. Appreciate your advice😊

This is painful to read because it happened to me. It is cheating and don’t let him tell you otherwise. I left our house immediately when I found out and he regretted what he did. My condition to come back was that he had to delete Facebook and give me access to all his social media and email accounts and passwords. It’s 2 years after the incident and I still check his accounts every week. Even though I’ve forgiven him, the trust I used to have is totally gone.

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2y ago

I wish I have the courage to go check thru his stuff but I'm not like that. Maybe that why he takes it for granted until I found it one time. of course I wouldn't trust/forgive him easily. Hopefully he will change for the better.

2nd chance yes. For the sake of children. But I will still keep a lookout if it happens again I make sure I have the evidence. And make sure children to be mine and he needs to pay for allowance maintenance. Need to read up more info of divorce stuff. At least when things goes out of hand we know wat to do. Instead panic.

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2y ago

Appreciate your advice.😊 Yes, there's alot of stuff to go thru for divorce and I'm sure doesn't want to go thru it when my kids are both below 2 years. Hope he change for the better.

Sorry to know that. Collect evidence as it will be to your advantage in custody of children. Ask yourself will you really forgive him and move on. But word of advice, based on the experiences with my other girl friends, an adulter will be an adulter, and will leave you heart broken again and again.

2y ago

To forgive is hard. I'm just thinking about my kids and their future. If I didnt have any, I would have leave him long time.

Hi, It really depends on the mutual understanding but I would suggest have a detailed discussion with your husband about it and also let him know of your expectations when giving a second chance. It is important for the husband to take this seriously and respect each other as well.

2y ago

Appreacite your advice😊

My husband hide most of the stuff and even lie when i found out he with a girl alone but for the sake of the child i gave him second chance and i even throw him lawyer letter but i couldnt afford more anymore

TapFluencer

I will since no evidence of physical cheated but I'll let him know I won't trust him easily again. And also warn him 1 more time you will divorce.

2y ago

Appreciate your advice. 😊

Super Mum

Yes since there’s no hard evidence. It will be the last chance though.

2y ago

Appreciate your advice😊

Depends how much you value your marriage ?