My parents had the same issues too, which became one of the reasons why I sent my son to childcare when he was 2 years old - we delayed it for a bit but he just wasn't making good use of his time at home (my parents gave him a lot of screen time on top of that just so he wouldn't bother them from their own TV show/mobile games). And yes, there are many "horror" stories of putting children into childcare - but there are also many good ones too! My son is in childcare for 3 months and he has learnt to be more sociable, independent and even helped with his speech delay :) He loves school so much that there was a period of time he woke up in the middle of the night fussing to go to school! If you're looking for a infant/childcare centre, this article will probably be useful for you: https://www.dearlittleones.com/single-post/2018/02/15/How-to-Choose-an-InfantChildcare-Centre
If you already have issues with your mom's style of upbringing and favouritism among your kids, it's better to make alternative arrangements for their care giving if you are a FTWM. Not all childcare have issues (and you probably choose to remember the bad incidents over the good ones ). Just need to do your homework when you have shortlisted a few childcare and go take a look at the environment or speak with parents with kids in those childcare to get their feedback. Weigh in the costs and distance of the childcare from your place, etc. I would choose to maintain a good relationship with my mom so that she can still be my backup if I need her help at times (eg. when kids are sick) rather than to keep having friction with her on upbringing styles.
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