Mother in Law

Hi sis. I’m currently not working and decided to work on my own or take care of the baby on my own. Tapi mak mertua sye still nak resign and come. 2. Betul. But to take care of the baby until the baby can jaga sendiri boleh. Lagipun my mom also here but it’s like my mom in law doesn’t want my mother to involve. And it’s not like I’m asking my mom to stay with us. She’ll visit and go. Also, my mom in law is like the people zaman dulu2. So I risau if my baby’s mind also gets influenced like that and it would be hard to survive in this judgemental world. 3) My mom in law from Perak. And we just bought a new house in KL (obviously thinking it would be just both of us to start a new family 😔). So I can’t really ask her to stay in a new place because she would not do that and also we have to pay for it too. 4) I’m willing to sacrifice my KL life and go to Perak to in law house. But my mom in law cam taknak pulak sbb kawan2 die sume dah turun KL. Still want to come stay with us because

Hi sis. I dah try discussing and the only reason he says is that he doesn’t have a father and he needs to take care of his mom. Mcm I’m the bad guy here. And husband’s income dah cukup2 for both of us and we need to support baby after this. We bought a new house so we can’t afford to put mother in law in a different house too (plus she won’t go too.) And my mother in law’s way of thinking pun so traditional and old school. Mmg judgemental. You have to think twice before saying anything because she will judge your character. So I kesian pulak kat baby I if the baby’s mind also turns like that if she takes care of the baby. Nnti kena buli kat sekolah ke ape. I mmg stress lah sis. Like I said there’s really no solution to this. But I’m sure there will be surely disagreements and arguments with my mil later if she comes. But I have to face it. When it comes to privacy, I think I can’t ask for it anymore 😭

He did and I said what I could possibly deliver in a politest way. But he has no options since his mother is very conservative and she gets offended or defensive about it even when he tries to start that topic. And you’re totally right about the commitment part because I just got retrenched from my job and I need to find a new job for our sake and the baby’s sake. The expenses are already going up and if she’s here, we have to support her too. In this case, it’s my mother in law who needs a clear understanding but she’s from a very conservative background and no way she could possibly understand this without getting offended. And not to mention if that happens, that could possibly damage my relationship with my husband as well.

I tried dear. He said he understood but he can’t say no to her since his dad passed away and as the only son he feels the responsibility. But what about my feelings? Back in their days, my mother in law chose to live a separate life from her own mother in law. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Haha perhaps it’s gonna be the same thing for me

He has a sister but his sister clearly doesn’t wanna take the responsibility. Even she comes to stay with us for every holiday which makes it difficult for me to have alone time with my husband.