Mother in Law

Mother in law wants to resign her job after I deliver the baby and stay with us forever. I know everyone would say it would be a big help and all. But I don’t mind if she comes to take care of the baby and resumes her job. But she wants to resign her job and stay with us forever. This isn’t about the baby anymore because it’s like taking away the private life I have with my husband too. It’s like I’m losing everything. Husband, baby, privacy, freedom etc. I can’t discuss this with her or my husband because my husband has no dad and he would say he would want to take care of his mom. I’m supposed to be stress free during this pregnancy but I’m feeling sad. I may sound like a bad person for not wanting to live with my mother in law but I just hope someone would understand that my feelings are valid. Thanks for listening guys. There’s no solution to this and I just have to go through this. 😔

7 Balas
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Tulis jawapan

Faham, tak semua kita boleh sehaluan dgn keluarga in law. Tapi ada kelebihan juga sis boleh pertimbangkan. 1) Are you working? If Yes, then nanti siapa yang akan jaga anak? At least she can help to take care of your baby. 2) Untuk hantar ke babysitter, perlu hati yang kental. Kita tak tau orang jaga anak kita macam mana. Bukan nak kata nak take advantage on her, just kita lebih percaya jika keluarga sendiri yang jaga anak kita. Saya pun tak serasi dengan mertua. Bila suami nak kami stay rumah mertua, saya dah siap² letakkan syarat untuk keselesaan rumah tangga kami. Suami kena faham dan cuba layan seadilnya. Tapi untuk "FOREVER" tu 😭 macam tak ada life la pula. At least duduk rumah lain, just hantar baby rumah dia, ok lagi.

Baca lagi
4mo ago

Hi sis. I’m currently not working and decided to work on my own or take care of the baby on my own. Tapi mak mertua sye still nak resign and come. 2. Betul. But to take care of the baby until the baby can jaga sendiri boleh. Lagipun my mom also here but it’s like my mom in law doesn’t want my mother to involve. And it’s not like I’m asking my mom to stay with us. She’ll visit and go. Also, my mom in law is like the people zaman dulu2. So I risau if my baby’s mind also gets influenced like that and it would be hard to survive in this judgemental world. 3) My mom in law from Perak. And we just bought a new house in KL (obviously thinking it would be just both of us to start a new family 😔). So I can’t really ask her to stay in a new place because she would not do that and also we have to pay for it too. 4) I’m willing to sacrifice my KL life and go to Perak to in law house. But my mom in law cam taknak pulak sbb kawan2 die sume dah turun KL. Still want to come stay with us because

try discuss dengan husband lagi.. still boleh consider kalau mil nak stay kl.. but husband kena provide rumah lain yang dekat ke apa.. but please bukan satu rumah laa.. sebab u said it will be FOREVER kan.. memang a big no laa untuk siapa2 pun.. totally lost privacy kita dengan husband.. plus takut mil akan pertikai cara didikan kita towards anak nanti.. please cakap baik2 dengan husband untuk consider your feelings.. kesian you.. be strong girl!!

Baca lagi
4mo ago

Hi sis. I dah try discussing and the only reason he says is that he doesn’t have a father and he needs to take care of his mom. Mcm I’m the bad guy here. And husband’s income dah cukup2 for both of us and we need to support baby after this. We bought a new house so we can’t afford to put mother in law in a different house too (plus she won’t go too.) And my mother in law’s way of thinking pun so traditional and old school. Mmg judgemental. You have to think twice before saying anything because she will judge your character. So I kesian pulak kat baby I if the baby’s mind also turns like that if she takes care of the baby. Nnti kena buli kat sekolah ke ape. I mmg stress lah sis. Like I said there’s really no solution to this. But I’m sure there will be surely disagreements and arguments with my mil later if she comes. But I have to face it. When it comes to privacy, I think I can’t ask for it anymore 😭

U r not a bad person.. we want to live our life with freedom and privacy.. having others family member in our home really is stressful.. ur mil should ur ur opinion first..

5mo ago

He did and I said what I could possibly deliver in a politest way. But he has no options since his mother is very conservative and she gets offended or defensive about it even when he tries to start that topic. And you’re totally right about the commitment part because I just got retrenched from my job and I need to find a new job for our sake and the baby’s sake. The expenses are already going up and if she’s here, we have to support her too. In this case, it’s my mother in law who needs a clear understanding but she’s from a very conservative background and no way she could possibly understand this without getting offended. And not to mention if that happens, that could possibly damage my relationship with my husband as well.

If i were you, i would feel the same sis..have heart to heart talk with him,

5mo ago

I tried dear. He said he understood but he can’t say no to her since his dad passed away and as the only son he feels the responsibility. But what about my feelings? Back in their days, my mother in law chose to live a separate life from her own mother in law. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Everyone would think so? Nah count me out.

5mo ago

Haha perhaps it’s gonna be the same thing for me

Does your husband an only child?

5mo ago

He has a sister but his sister clearly doesn’t wanna take the responsibility. Even she comes to stay with us for every holiday which makes it difficult for me to have alone time with my husband.


i feel you sis.