To have or not..baby number 2

Many starts telling me to have number 2...now baby 1 year old...I am not working coz baby in sch and often fall sick n i don have much help so i never work after giving birth..now depend one income.. I felt people discounted how I felt n my journey...my baby now since young alr very hard to manage...because of baby I almost fall into depression.. and quarrel alot with my husband.. What is ur personal journey? Can share? Thanks:)

7 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply

You (and spouse) are the ones carrying, paying and taking care of the kid(s). I will personally want to make sure that I can handle both kids financially and physically. 2 under 2 without any help is definitely doable but it’s not gonna be easy even with extra pair of hands. I am personally a SAHM of one child. My child is currently 8.5m and I do have plans of having number 2, preferably before I turn 30.. But of course, I’ll have to most importantly consider whether our financial budget allows us to. Otherwise, I’ll only plan for number 2 when we are ready (including my LO). My sis has 4 kids with 12-18m gap each and I definitely do not want to be in her position where I have to constantly worry about money and how to split myself into 2/3/4. In short, go for it if you’re ready! Don’t bother about what others tell you because end of the day, you’re the one that’s gonna be changing the diapers, feeding the milk, losing the sleep, worrying about them at least for the next 18 years whereas all they did was ask “When you having number 2?”

Read more

Hi! I'm curious. Have your in-laws asked you when are you planning to have your second child? What do you say to them and what is their reaction? I feel my in-laws may ask this question soon. SIGH. I'm in a very similar position as you. I feel you. I get what you mean about you feel people discounted how you felt and your journey. I also have zero help (no helper and no family member to help take care of my child). I also wonder if I should have a second child. I am very unsure if I can handle that stress of being pregnant while taking care of a toddler all by myself when husband is working.

Read more
2y ago

When people ask me about my no 2, I said soon but not so soon. Honestly, Ill tell them having kids is a blessing but to manage financial, work, home, education not easy esp with the high cost of living in SG. I specifically mentioned that I want a nice gap between no 1 and no 2. True enough it is 4 years gap. Not that I am selfish. But it is me carrying it for 9 months and it is me and husband that provide everything for our kids. No one should be asking when we are having another because they dont help neither provide anything. So best to just go with the flow.

When people ask me about my no 2, I said soon but not so soon. Honestly, Ill tell them having kids is a blessing but to manage financial, work, home, education not easy esp with the high cost of living in SG. I specifically mentioned that I want a nice gap between no 1 and no 2. True enough it is 4 years gap. Not that I am selfish. But it is me carrying it for 9 months and it is me and husband that provide everything for our kids. No one should be asking when we are having another because they dont help neither provide anything. So best to just go with the flow.

Read more

I also dont have much help (not from my dad or my in laws) Mine is also 1y1m now and alr alot of ppl ask when i gonna have no 2. I cant be bothered. My gal is very hard to manage and basically you cant step out of sight unless she is deeply aslp. And this was like from the time she was born alr cannot manage well. Although i am still working.. i also very tired..

Read more

I would not bring another baby here if i were in your situation. It will be more exhausted than anything without any help. Dont just give birth because everyone asked you to. Because at the end, you're the one going thru everything (take care of the baby and your current kid) what if you fall ill. Can u imagine?

Read more

talk is cheap. having kids should be a couple's decision that one is ready for additional lifetime commitment. just ignore those senseless comments or remarks e.g. only child will be lonely, best to have siblings etc.. there's always pros n cons.

Hi, I feel you. My son is currently 17 months. And now I’m pregnant with no.2. Both my husband and I have not been working since my son is born. Now no.2 is coming we also thinking of how to manage.