Breastfeeding

What to do if husband do not supportive in breastfeeding journey? In my 3.5mth breastfeeding journey is tough with depression. Most because my husband did not supporting me. He scold me & cursing me almost every weekend. We mutual agreed to breastfeeding before I giving birth to my LO. We went to many birth @ breastfeeding seminar & webinar. He take the notes down too. We also decided to take care baby at night during confinement. After I giving birth, because of the numbers of house add on a suck confinement nanny & maid, my husband decided to back to office to work and not take his paternity leave to accompany me. After work his concern is how is my baby and what all ppl do at home, never ask me my feeling. I was exhausted and sleeping mode after feeding my baby. But my husband & in-law keep asking me question why my baby crying or why midnight I don’t want sleep. Make me so frustrated and angry. Whenever I pump milk, my baby crying my husband will give me Long face that I not attend to my baby. Or scold me. The most I feel rude & cursing is he chase after me to kitchen with my baby and cursing me “all u know now Is pumping your fucking milk, if your baby die u tell who will drink ur fucking milk”. And my baby keep crying whenever my husband carry him that time my baby only 1.5mth old. I feeling so depressed by my husband and in-law. Why I just alone? I feel my husband only want me to help him give birth but never loving me. After giving birth he never give me any hug or encouragement words didn’t even said thank you for my hard labour. He just blame me that I making him unable to sleep well at night that affect him in day time. Unlike me can have 4 month maternity able to sleep in day time. That’s why I should attend to my baby at night. Any mummies have same experience or advise to me, please share with me. Appreciate could recommend Counsellors to me. I need back to happy me and be a happy mummy to my LO.

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I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I think he doesn't know the word family mean and the first 3 alphabets stand for. The first 3 alphabets stand for Father And Mother. I don't think he is doing his duty and responsibilities as a father and husband, hope I am wrong. If to be a father is just to be a sperm donor and some money back to the family, then I guess most women don't need to get married. He also doesn't know how tough and sacrifices made when a woman gets pregnant. He also doesn't know that when a woman is giving birth, she is one leg stepping into the coffin. The words he used on you and attitude towards you are unacceptable. Choose an appropriate time to talk to him and tell him how you feel. You may refer to the following link for counseling: https://www.msf.gov.sg/policies/Marriages/Pages/Marriage-Counselling.aspx It takes two hands to work towards a happy family. You can't do it alone; your child and you will never be happy if you think just suffer and sacrifice silently for the sake of your child. Hope he will change and he truly loves you and your child. Take care.

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1y ago

thanks Alex. I think he in baby blue also that he couldn't handle our baby crying. hope both us can go thru this period.

Oh dear.... I am so speechless when I read this but feels so mad for you. If only men knows how tough breastfeeding is, they won't say what they have said. I will walk out if I were you. Giving birth is already extremely painful + breastfeeding + the exhaustion & lack of sleep, I don't need any f***ing husband to cuss at me for doing my job as a mother. I will seriously walk out and move in with my parents. I rather not have a stupid husband who only knows how to donate his sperm but not doing his job as a father. This... This is why many new mummies have depression. All we need/all they need is understanding and empathy. Being a mother is a tough job but we still chose to do it anyway. Hugs to you! Gather your courage. You don't need to be in a marriage/family with someone/in-laws who does not appreciate you.

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VIP Member

Well, I feel you, cause I was tanking most of the feeding and cuddling of baby for 5 months before I went berserk and gave him a crazy bitch fit mode. All that being said, it’s important for you to delegate duties to daddy and include them in baby’s journey. Also, be open to communicating about your feelings to in law as well as your husband, and see what can be arranged or worked out. As the saying goes, it takes the whole village to raise a child. We still have arguments from time to time, but the emotional aspect of our family is stable and enjoy each other’s companionship :)

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1y ago

Each of us have stress and we will need to learn how to manage it better. Sometimes its not about solving a problem but rather, finding a balance, so that both will keep their sanity. Jia you too! I’m sure things will work out in due time :)

TapFluencer

actually you can try to breast feed in demand to calm your baby down it might help. I pump during the day when there's someone look after and I nurse and haakaa during the night. it's much easier. actually motherhood taught me 5o be stronger afterall not everyone understands the bf journey and even they understand not everyone will be supportive and help out

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1y ago

thanks for encouragement. i was trying to be more courage & stronger

It's really feel sad to hear about you. The best thing to do is to ask your husband what their concerns are. If they have a valid concern, you should address it and see if there is a way to fix it. If they don't have a valid concern, then you should continue breastfeeding because it is important for your child's health.

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