Just ignore her. First of all, she won't be contributing to this event. Secondly, are u going to be using her place? If no, even more u don't need to seek her permission. For me, for my first child, i did a birthday part. Just buffet and cakes. Called relatives and friends. Simple but a happy function. Just as a respect, inform them as a formality, if they don't attend, just don't take it to heart. Just ignore and move on and enjoy the celebration
I will do what I want for my baby. It is your baby and you are the mom. You can be polite and listen to them but you can still insist you want to do it. There is nothing wrong with celebrating 1st Year birthday. They are not the mother of course they don't understand our pains to raise the baby for one year and to see the baby grow up so well for a year that we wanna celebrate it.
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I'd say, do what you want and feel is best. Unless you are asking her for her help. Otherwise, not their problem also. Sorry for being direct.