27th Sept 2018_hardest day in my life

Last year, time ni air ketuban leaking ketika hamil 5bulan. Anak syurgaku meninggalkan kami selepas 12jam lebih bertarung di hosp. Tak sempat saya pegang dia. Doktor tunjuk dkt saya. Tapi saya tak dukung dia. Blur. Saya xtau nak buat apa. Menyesal saya. Until now i still can see his face. Such a perfect baby. Tak mcm premature pun. He looks so complete. Just in small size 500gm. My strong husband do all last ritual. Such a strong man. He go through all this alone. To witness till last ritual need a strong heart indeed. Thank you for being my pillar pa. My son was fair as me, tall as my husband. Head full of hair. Peaceful baby face. But saya tak dukung dia pun. I asked myself why.......... i dont know.............. i cried........ it was so painful. Im sorry aiya.... im so sorry. Pls forgive me. Now im pregnant again. 31weeks. Baby boy. I prayed that you will come back to me. I believe you are now with me. Much healthier... much smarter.... much stronger. Every kick that i feel now is my booster to move on. Im sorry aiya for not even carry u once. I love u baby. ? #myheavenbaby #myfirstbaby