Do u let NB stay at parent in law home?

My In law suggesting they wanted to take care my NB and stay with them at night so that me n my hubby got enough rest at night.. i doesnt like it..especially my MIL mentioned that baby will sleep same bed with her/beside her... i worry later my bb tot my MIL is me....i strongly disagree,how can bb sleep with grandmother other than bb mother. my hubby support the idea coz he feel frustrated at nite bcoz not enuf rest.. Any better idea how to handle sleepless/crying bb at nite?

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No for me because there is a chance your MIL not aware of SIDS like we do. Because we have certain way of taking care of baby that she just doesn’t get and could offend her. Not because she wants to bond more, nothing wrong with grandma bonding with grandkid. I know sometimes our hormones made us overthink but really, if their intention is just purely to help there is nothing wrong with it. No matter how baby is being taken care of he/she will always know who their Mum is. No co-sleep can break that bond easily. Decision is up to you, but if you are worried baby will recognise other people as their Mum, don’t worry it won’t happen that easily. It is true what they said, it takes a village to raise a child. Don’t be afraid to accept help and don’t let it makes you think you are any less of a parent. It’s NOT TRUE. Remember that mental health, enough rest, is important for new parents so that you can raise a healthy and happy baby as well ❤️

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Definitely a no for this. If they want to help, they can come over to stay or look after the baby in the day time. 1 method is maybe your NB doesnt know isit day or night. try to change baby's sleep routine. like in the day time, dont shut the curtains etc and make the room dark. let bb know that its the morning. and slowly fix the sleep routine. maybe can go online research up on how to change their sleep routine. but first 3 months at least no choice.. have to bear it with. so its best your MIL can take care bb in the daytime so both you and dad can rest abit more.

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4y ago

2nd anon. Young parents abit more bo bian.. my cousin also like that 17y.o pregger and 18y.o give birth have to stay at in laws for abit. But tahan a few more years when you both can go work and earn money. if dont mind can start bto like 2 room flat first alot of grants. But of course both yall must earn money and for now dont get 2nd bb if not you just gonna stay longer in your in laws. Once you manage to move into your own home in the next few years, things will get better. Very proud that you are trying your best. Jia you!

VIP Member

honestly i understand cos u want to be closer to your baby and do not want your baby to think your MIL is the mum instead. my suggestion is let them try. ur baby will still know you are the mother. u will still spent time with your baby, bathe your baby and nap with your baby. just thought this might be better if not you will eventually quarrel with your husband due to him having lack of rest. just my opinion but still your own decision😊

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VIP Member

I won’t let my NB stay with my in laws. It’s normal for newborns to cry as they are not used to the environment. You can try swaddling bb, turn on some white noise and keep the room cool and dark. It’s good to have a night time routine and fixed time like bath, wear pyjamas, feed milk and sleep. Most babies love routine.

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4y ago

tried the white noise, room is cool and dark but still doesnt work..

Super Mum

babies are meant to cry and wake up for feeds especially during the early weeks/months. plus co-sleeping with a NB is not recommended..what more with an elderly..i did not let my mom bring baby into her room when she said she'd help to put baby to sleep - i really prefer to handle everything on my own

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4y ago

yea, i think co sleeping wif mother is ok bah, if bb cry or what can attend to him immediately.. there's a nite which i sleep too deeply till MIL carry over to her room.. shut the door, i cant even hear bb crying.. till the nxt morning only she told us bb crying, so she carry over and put bb sleep wif her then bb stop crying..speechless.. i think she wan to prove tht bb can also can sleep wif anyone? she think its ok bb sleep wif grandma.. sickening.. i dont really dont wan bb familiar wif grandma "smell"

Never allow that. i think swaddle helps. before swaddling make sure baby is fed and diaper is changed. at nite he cries for milk i think? you try see the timings he cry. if thrs a pattern then you try to wake up before he starts crying.

4y ago

ooh. i think it is normal for newborns to cry alot. my nb alwaes wants milk every one or two hrs. could be that they feel insecure. if really you feel giving up maybe can try installing the swing that is attached to the ceiling, near your bed. i think it's called "yao lan" I'm not sure cz i dont use it. it looks like baby is nicely cuddled while being swinged/swung. i hope your husband will be more supportive as this is the time for you both to learn abt your nb and your nb to adapt to new surroundings. jz need to be patient ok. all will be well dear parents. not easy, but you'll get tye hang of it like a pro. you can do it and big hugs! 💪🏻💪🏻🥰

I got my MIL to come stay on the weekend, my own mother stay on weekdays. They both assist with night feeds and taking care of the baby during the night. (They are older so they sleep much later and require less sleep)

Super Mum

I wouldn’t.. that’s my preference. My husband was worried about my newborn crying and waking my preschooler up at night, so initially, I slept with my baby and attended to her quickly whenever she woke up at night.

4y ago

i think it's ok if the bb sleep with mother not grandparent..

Receiving other's support after pregnancy gives you a rest. But let baby to sleep with you. baby needs mothers love, car and warm . you have to fulfill baby's needs(pee, milk) through out the night

TapFluencer

I won't agree this at all. taking care myself is all I want. are you a breastfeeding mum? if you are your boobs can do wonders to them just offers your boobs and they will just sleep 😂