im really tired juggling both work and taking care of bb myself. & nope, no mummy or mil help here. long story. and i keep seeing all these articles of benefits to a child of working mum bla bla bla. it's like telling me my child lose out if i quit my job to take care of bb. arent there benefits for child if the mum stays home? so what if i sacrifice my career? im not sure how i can try to be happy in the long run by trying to hang on to juggling work and baby. stay home mums, please tell me... there are benefits to our child if we stay home to take care of bb right?

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My aunt was a career woman for the longest time and she left her babies in the care of my grandma. After grandma passed away, she had to choice but to resign because her in laws were still working and at that time, child care and nannies were not the norm yet. She has been a SAHM for about 20 years now (and added 2 more kids to her previous brood of 2 in that time). While she did raise 4 beautiful and amazing kids, she admits that she missed her old life and financial freedom. On the flipside, she was always around whenever her kids needed her. She made it to every single school play, recital, sports day, she was there at every parent teacher meeting. She saw all of her children's milestones and dealt firsthand with their rebellions. All of that, she was grateful for. On the other hand, I grew up as a latch-key kid, in a household where both parents worked and had to content with not having my parents at special school events etc. That did not mean they loved me and my brothers any less. In fact, we always looked at it as a different kind of love. We grew up independent and resourceful, in fact :) There are pros and cons to everything but if you feel in your heart of hearts that it will be the best option to stay at home, then by all means, go for it.

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6y ago

thanks for sharing the story. so i guess there's not right or wrong whichever way. i'll jus follow my heart :)

Personally, I think what matters most is what you are comfortable with. Like what the other ladies have pointed out, if finances is not an issue, you can definitely consider being a SAHM. A lot of my friends would like to have that option, but because of finances constraints, they have to go back into the workforce after their maternity leave end. For those who could be SAHM, they are happy to be able to attend to their children full time. There are pros and cons with any option and the best option is the one that will work well for you. If having to juggle work and family is taking a toll on you, have a chat with your partner, work the figures and see which option would best suit your family. You can also consider working part-time or working from home on certain days (if your company could offer those options) and see if that helps? Take care!!

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6y ago

thank you for sharing your tots. yeah.. discussed with hubby. could work things out :)

If your family can survive with one breadwinner only, then i think your child will benefit tremendously with her mother staying at home. Kids crave for attention, not expensive toys/clothes/holidays. So don't feel guilty if you choose to be SAHM and have to cut budget. The time that your child spend with you - no amount of money can replace that. You'll be the first one to see him acquire new skills, you'll be the one who guide his life, and you'll not regret that when he grows up and starting to be independent. Time is golden. Don't lose your child's childhood just because we think materials are more important to him.

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6y ago

Thanks for the advice. time is gold. i'll bear that in mind. every with our child is so precious

You must make the choice on your own. My husband and I can afford for me to be a stay home mum for at least 2-3 years. However, while I truly enjoyed being with my child for 7 months.. I missed working. I missed adult conversations and learning from my colleagues. Even going to Chope seats with tissue during lunch! It was what kept me alive and happy. So I decided to work part time :) Strike a balance in your life! If you love being a stay home mummy, go for it. 100 percent.

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6y ago

not an easy choice to make. giving up the financial freedom. :(

sahm is wonderful if u hv a million ton of patience, can multitask in an uncontrolled high pitch surround sound environment, work at duper fast speed, think at duper fast speed, will be happy even if there's no me time for more than an hr a day, no high teas, no tea breaks, sometimes no lunch... being a sahm means u won't miss out the funniest moments, the most treasured smiles, the happy face that knows his/her mummy is always around.

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6y ago

wow, that's interesting way of describing how a mum gotta. sounds also like my fast pace job. haha.. in that case, i think baby wins. i'd rather "work" with my baby than in office. haha

On the contrary, I desire to be sahm, but I have to return to work after my maternity leave and no pay leave to serve my work bond (my study at university was sponsored).. So I opted to work part time to serve my bond.. I want to be with my children as much as I can because the time with them is something money can't buy.

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6y ago

my work doesnt allow me to part time... in any case, after reading all mummies advice here, i think in my heart i already chose my baby over work.

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The choice is ultimately yours. If you decide to be a stay at home mom, then have an open heart to be such without any ounce of guilt. No one can make that decision but you and be sure to have peace in your heart once a decision is made

In the long run what will you eat?