I'm practically had a 2.5 month worth of confinement. After the first month, my mil said that she would look after my lo so that I can go for lunch. However, she imposed a restriction for me to be back by noon as she needs to die die leave home at noon for lunch. On days when my hubby is not working, he could still fetch me to somewhere further for lunch. She is also unwilling to look after my lo for more than 1.5 hours. As there is no eatery near my house, I would like to take a bus to the nearest coffee shop to eat, or call for delivery. For info, it takes me 30mins to reach the interchange and that means I have only 30mins to eat and run errands and another 30mins to travel back home. Delivery is an expensive option due to the min. Order amount required, plus sometimes they don't deliver to my place (staying near the farms and away from civilization, so not many eateries offer delivery too) Cooking is not an option because theres no ingredient at all for me to cook, and if I were to stay at home during my supposed lunchtime, she would not want to look after my lo. I don't mind cooking at home if I could babywear her, but she told me baby is too young to be in carrier, and if in stroller, very dangerous also cos she will be unattended when I cook. Asking her to buy lunch back for not is not viable as she will leave home at noon but be back at 5pm only. She also disallowed me to bring my lo out as she does not want my lo to be exposed to unnecessary germs, can only bring my lo out when she is 6 months old. She came out with a problem, I proposed a solution to her yet she rejected and asked me to think of other solutions. Today, she asked me to go out for lunch earlier on weekends as she wants to eat lunch with my brother in law, and my brother in law hopes to go out for lunch at 11.30am so as to maximize his weekends. Appreciate any solutions out there for consideration. I need to regain my sanity, haven't been out to the malls since my delivery. Don't know what to do when I return back to work. So much for asking me not to worry after I deliver as its ether grandparents responsibility to look after their grandchild, on the other hand unwilling to change her lifestyle at all. ??????

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Have you considered tingkat? Some companies are able to do tingkat lunch for 1 person. It's definitely better than starving yourself or rushing a meal. And at least you get to eat your food in the comfort of your own home, at any time you want. You can check out these tingkat companies:- http://www.lexin.com.sg/tingkat.html http://www.empirefood.sg/tingkat/ http://www.kimskitchen.com.sg/Tingkat.html http://www.selectcatering.com.sg/tingkat-delivery/ Some companies also do 5 day trial for you, so you can taste their food before committing for a month. With regards to your mil, I think you will need to have a chat with your husband. From what you wrote, it seems like she will be the main carer for your child after your maternity leave? You will need to establish with your husband if she will continue her existing lifestyle after you go back to work. If she does, who will be looking after your child from 12-5pm? Let your husband do the talking because usually DIL is always wrong. As for weekends, is your husband able to help you look after your baby? Maybe just for a few hours so you can go out and have a breather. Do your nails, cut your hair, or maybe a short lunch with your friends. It is definitely not healthy to be confined at home all day as unhappiness can lead to post natal depression. Tell him how you feel as that's most important in all relationships. Don't bottle yourself up. Hope my post is useful. Take care.

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VIP Member

i brought my son out even before the 1st mth confinement finish. my son is still well and running around. 1yo now. dont raise your child like how your mil wanted. your child is your child. if your mil cannot do it your way, send to childcare when you go to work. i believe exposing babies to outside environment is good for their development and growth. bring your baby out to eat if you want. it is doable. i have done it many times. I even bring my boy to market to buy vege. baby wear or stroller. my mom told me: wah.. you bring your son everywhere! i didnt dare to bring you out when you were young. i believe we are not in the 60s. and the way we raise children shouldnt be keeping them at home already. there are strollers, babywear, diaper, nursing room in the mall, nursing covers... these are invented and designed to allow us parents to bring our babies out conveniently.

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its really pathetic....first of all dnt think too much since ur confinment is not completed...take a deep breath n think rasionally....i agree with others u hv to make right decision means u hv right hw u gonna handle ur little ones.MIL heeds good advised for your own good but not all advised u hv to follow though is gd...be optimistic saying I CAN DO IT. .do wht u feel comfortable n enjoy n things will go with d flow with u.....as u will b working after confinment...do hv a talk with ur hubby to speak to his mother abt taking care of ur lo....if possible if ur hubby can afford to employ maid for taking care lo...otherwise find alternative way....as a husband n wife im sure uolls can give n take...all d best...keep smiling always.

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I'm sorry to say this but your baby is your own responsibility and not your mother in law or anybody else's. For your sanity, go out to a foodcourt with your baby. I'm sure you have a carrier by now. It's safe to take your baby out at this age. Just wach your hands once your back home. Why don't you order one week worth of groceries online and have them delivered to your place. This is not an expensive option as deivery costs is about $7. You can cook or prepare a sandwhich while baby is sleeping. You can put the baby in a bouncer or pull the crib out where you can see the baby while you are in the kitchen. I know it must be overwhelming for you at the moment but you can do it.

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8y ago

I agree but she stated her mil doesn't allow her to bring lo out.. Tat's bad enough..even stroller n carrier also nono.. But delivery agree.. Hopefully her mil agrees on delivery of food~~ cuz she propose suggestions but all rejected by mil..*pull hair*

VIP Member

I was a rebel during my confinement and did everything my MIL said I cannot or shouldn't do. I did everything during my confinement, and brought baby out when he was just 2 days before turning a month old for a gathering. After that, I go out EVERYDAY. I baby wear, use stroller, and go everywhere with my baby. I suggest you find alternative help to care for your baby if you are going back to work. otherwise you might find yourself having conflicts with her. if really can't go out, how about ordering groceries online so that you can cook when baby is sleeping?

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If i were you, since 1st month confinement is over, i will rather just do my style, rather bring baby out to eat, breathe some fresh air instead of having a 30min quick lunch. It's as good as never take a breather at all. Apparently your MIL seems to have too much say. If desperate to have ME time, better wait for your husband off day so thay you can enjoy your ME time in peace. If she is going to be the caregiver when you went back to work, with her controlling style, it might have a lot of conflicts going on...

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Frankly, everyone can say what they like. But it's still your decision. No need to follow what others say. You should take baby with you and do what you need. Many of us do it as well. Can't be leave baby at home right. End of the day baby needs us more then anyone else especially at this age. Just my two cents

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Just bring baby out by yourself, ditch her help once you get ur baby into an Infantcare.