Pregnancy Depression

I’m currently at week 32 of my pregnancy and it has never been smooth sailing from day 1. I’m a petite person and my bump has never really shown up till today, so people never really bothered about me being pregnant neither do I get special treatment from anyone. I’ve been alone throughout my pregnancy because I have a husband who doesn’t care. Every food that I crave, I had to get it myself. I’d drive miles from one end of SG to the other just to get it. My husband never once cared about the child I’m carrying. Never once asked if the baby things is enough or if there’s anything that needs to be bought. All he cares about is me racking up the hospital bills. I got scolded for choosing TMC because he said he couldn’t afford it. I asked many times if he wanted to change hospital but all he does is curse and swear at me. I’ve mentally prepared myself to not take epidural or anything that would help lessen my pain because my husband can’t afford it. Since day 1 of my pregnancy, I’ve never felt happy. All I’ve wanted to do is end my life, and bring my baby with me. I’ve never gotten quality sleep because he snores at night. And the only time I’ve got a quality sleep was before we got married which was a year ago. I’m in last few weeks and I’m annoyed at my baby kicking me throughout the night. I’m annoyed that I couldn’t sleep. I’m annoyed that I still have to get up in the morning to go to work and hate my job because I’m heavily pregnant but I don’t look like it so no one cares. I’m just honestly, tired. And maybe, I don’t get the support from anyone. At all. I don’t know what I need or what will help me but at this rate, I think I’m falling in post partum depression too for sure right? #firstbaby #pleasehelp #bantusharing #pregnancy

17 Replies

I don’t know how to suggest, just speaking my mind, firstly you really need to talk to your doctor and get help for depression. You can alternatively change to KKH if you wish to but don’t need to discuss with hubby if so stressful. Then need to find a friend, guy or girl friend both great, go food hunt and be happy. Baby kicks you because he or she is trying to tell you he/she loves you and is here for you. The sleep deprivation will get worse when baby is born, you need a happy place to do confinement which I believe it’s not your home. And during confinement, because you have no help or support, you might have to wash all the stuff yourself, please don’t or wear gloves if you have to, cos touching cold water will get rheumatism aches and make our lives worse. Baby is your closest family member, he/she needs you and you need he/she, you and baby are one, your heartbeat as one. Please take care of yourself and baby. You are way stronger than you think you are. Help is good, but if no help available, find shortcuts, find a friend. You are strong and you can overcome, you won’t need anyone, baby is always on your side. If you hate your job, start looking for other jobs, easier part-time jobs etc,

Hi Mummy! Everyone has their mission in life! You felt super helpless now is probably due to hormones surging and lack of spouse support and also the anxiety of an upcoming baby. But fret not cos ultimately women (esp mummies!) are stronger than men in alot of ways! Your life might be filled with dark clouds now but as long as your heart has hope and rainbow u gonna make it through no matter how tough the current situation seemed to be now! :) Sharing with you an article from Soka Gakkai and i strongly encourage you to try chanting to transform your life and karma because this works for alot ppl all over the world! :) https://www.sokaglobal.org/practicing-buddhism/personal-experiences/taking-full-responsibility-for-my-happiness.html Always rem only you can take control of your own life, not anyone else so never be defeated by your environment, focus on your inner transformation to bring out the hope in your life! 😘 Try chanting “Nam-myo-horenge-kyo” to transform your life karmas and you will also attract all kinds of positive forces into your life 🥰 As long as you are alive, there will always be hope! Do not be defeated mummy! ❤️

So sorry to hear that you are feeling this way during your pregnancy journey. It should be a very beautiful moment for expecting mums to be. Perhaps we are also more sensitive while we are pregnant, as our hormones are surging and body is changing to adapt to carry a new life in us. Thus, you may feel that you don’t receive much attention. But no matter what, you are not alone. In fact, you are strong and brave to take the first step out to voice out in this community. If situation persist, do speak to your gynae privately and he/she may refer you to some social support group to seek emotional support. Financial wise, perhaps you can seek help from constituents. There’s also Medisave to tap on for your hospital bill. Pls stay strong and hold on tight for the sake of your little one. Every life is precious, so irregardless of whether you receiving any care or concern from anyone, what matters most is you and your baby. Have a smooth and safe pregnancy and delivery, remember you and your baby is the utmost priority. You are special to your baby, and your baby is special to you. It’s all that matters. Hugs to you mummy. Stay strong 💪🏻

you just have to take care of yourself..im petite too also don't look like pregnant at all , didn't get any special treatment, husband also ask me to sleep or eat other things, I pay for my own gynae visit bills and hospital bills throughout and confinement food with no nanny and everything also I'm the one paying. so if you think that you can't afford then maybe can go to govt hospital which will have more subsidiary so will.ha e 1 less thing to think abt. during my pregnancy I still need to take insulin with Injection every meal injecting on my tummy and also need to take aspirin etc but it will all turn out to be a joy after you have given birth and when your baby grows. it is so much fun with your baby. so dun give up and dun think too much, you can do it! go see a doctor and talk to someone or your other family members to help you. create your own moments with the ones that cared abt you to enjoy your pregnancy moments then.

Hi dear, i think you’re doing the right thing reaching out to this community and telling us how you’re feeling. But please understand that you and your baby will get more help if you get in touch with professionals. Don’t worry about the fees, just give SOS a call: 1800-221-4444. They are able to provide professional emotional support and advise you on the next steps you could take to improve your situation. You’re not alone. Really really. There are various avenues that can help you. The little one is kicking probably because baby is excited to see you and this world. You need to be strong for baby and yourself.

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hi mummy.. dun be upset. u are not alone. I didn't get special treatment either. I still move heavy stuff in store, squating up and down also when I was preg. I wanted to follow my prev gynae to private but after cal the bills, it is at least 1k more than kkh. in the end I chose Kkh to save money cause we cannot afford the bill too. my hub also nv treat me like a Queen.. when I am hungry.. he just asked me go to sleep.. haha.. I rmb I was still washing toilet the day b4 I gave birth to #1.. at later stage of preg, will be harder to sleep.. and body getting heavier.. just to use some pillows to help ur back..

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You're not alone in this journey. There's plenty of mental and financial help available. Talk to someone or rant here. Pregnancy and parenting is a tiring journey and not everyone can understand how much mummies have to go through. Your baby is telling you in a way all things are fine and showing you some love. We can't shut people up and there's always those giving unwanted or unnecessary comments. Just one ear in and one ear out. Don't let them affect you. Be strong for yourself and your baby.

The baby is a gift from God, please know that you are never alone in this journey. Do try to seek help for counselling or talk to your gynae to seek for his advice and resources for counselling sessions or even financial issues. Seek comfort with your friend(s) or parents whoever you are comfortable with. It’s a tough time for you but the community is here to give you the fullest support. Pray for you to stay positive and get the emotional support you need during this time.

heyy please do let your gynae know about your concerns of PPD.. hopefully she could also give you HL to rest at home. and mummy, you already made it so far, just a few more weeks to go and trust me, it will all be worth it when you see your tiny one. if you need a listening ear, do join mummy groups in whatsapp and facebook, they really helped alot throughout my pregnancy and even after giving birth. mummies care for one another and we care about you too.

pls give a call to any of the helplines like SOS or there are also affordable counselling sessions at AWARE. Let your gynae know too in case they can point you to any resources as well. Sometimes we really just need to talk it out otherwise we end up spiraling into a neverending hole where we feel more and more alone like no one cares. but actually there are people who do care about you and you can get help! stay strong xx

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