My husband doesn’t want to touch me or help me get naturally induced

I’m at 39w3d & ftm. I’ve been trying everything I can to induce labour (ie raspberry tea, coconut, mile circuit, walks, curb walks, dates). All except for sex. I’ve even scheduled for induction at 40w0d because baby will estimate to be at 3.3kg by then. But I still want to avoid induction if possible due to 20% failure rate >> leading to emergency c-sect. He hasn’t touched me more then a month ago. And semen induction (research/doct says it’ll soften the cervix) is the only trick in the book I have yet to try. I’ve told him time and time again. But I can’t force him to still because of the nature of a human body. He said he’d try but all I see is an empty promise. He even said to me that he doesn’t know how to help me with naturally inducing, but I already explicitly told him it’s the only thing we haven’t tried (in the most gentlest way possible). And I’ve also tried asking him for sex in the most straightforward way too last week. What doesn’t help is that I know for sure that he has been getting off on his own in the toilet. Wasting away what could have helped me go into spontaneous labour. And it’s making me spiral. That he “Hates my body”, “He would rather do it alone”, “He hates my body so much that doesn’t want to help me induce labour”. I can even foresee that if the induction fails, my brain is going to be wired into thinking that its all because of him that I’m going to have a scar on me for the rest of my life. And that it will make me more ugly in his eyes. That I could have had the chance to have the spontaneous labour but my choice was ripped from me because of his “selfishness”. But despite it all, apart of me believes he is just scared of causing me discomfort and that maybe Im just overthinking things. #induce #firsttimemom #FTM #help

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I get why you feel this way. It’s frustrating when you’re trying everything and the one thing left depends on him, and he just won’t do it. And yeah, knowing he’s getting off alone but not with you would mess with my head too—I’d be overthinking it just like you are. At the same time, I don’t think this is about him not being attracted to you. Whether it’s fear of hurting you, feeling weird about it, or just something in his head, it’s clearly not clicking for him. That doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid, though. It sucks when you’re asking for support, and it feels like he’s not giving it. I just don’t want you to let this turn into resentment, especially if induction ends up being necessary. From what I’ve heard, sex isn’t even a guaranteed way to get labour going, so don’t let this be the thing that makes you feel like your birth experience was ‘taken’ from you. You’ve done everything you can, and no matter how it happens, you’re still bringing your baby into the world—and that’s the only thing that really matters 🩷

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Ask Dr to do the membrane sweep, walk, go down the stairs or dance if you must. If he can’t then maybe he really can’t bring himself to hurt you and it’s not gonna happen if forced. The readiness of your cervix is dependent on your body. I waited till 42 weeks and did everything yet It didnt kickstart labour. I had a c sect. It’s nature, beyond us. Safe delivery to you. C sect or natural, you’ve got this momma!

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You just have to have faith in yourself and your baby. Your husband is concerned about the process that might hurt you, just like how you are concerned about the arrival of the baby! To me, i undergo emergency C sec last Sunday though it's very uncomfortable now, seeing my baby healthy is all it matters

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I did frequent sex, lots of long walks, gg up down stair, eating lots of dates etc still didnt help me dilate still need to induce. My husb pov was because he’s scared he’ll hurt the baby cs my bump was alr very big and also everytime i do sex ill have a mild contraction which hurts

hi mummy not to worry. your hus worry that he might hurt u. u need to understand even if labour start but cervix not dilated also no point. let nature takes it course do squating walking like what youtube said does not comfirm anything.

The method doesn’t really help if it makes you feel better. Apart from that, you can create some intimate time with your hubby, go for dates before giving birth just to enjoy yourselves and no pressure.

best that you keep your mind open to either birth methods...sometimes birth plan doesn't go according to what we hope for.

he might not want to have sex at this point, cos he’s worried it might hurt you/the baby in any way? jiayou mummy!!

Dont worry. It happened to me too. And it doesnt help. Still need to be induced in the end at 40w1d

Did you try doing squats and walking more? It may help