Any suggestions on how to discipline my child of 8 years old coming 9

Hi , I would like to understand what do most parents feel and will do if they have a child that has Behaviour problems. My Son has ADHD but he is good in art and can focus on the things he is interested in for Long hours. -steals friends money and make up a wonderful school to make people think it is a misunderstanding at the age of 7 multiple times) His school teacher decided to put him in the general office during all recess time. -fake an mosquito bit by pinching on his arm to buy time not to study at the age of 6 -fake that he has a tummy ache when it’s time to study but when you follow him to the toilet he keep asking you to go out. Telling me that it will be smelly -keep taking his friends things back home despite telling him time and time again. -keep telling lies even when it is unnecessary. -blames everything he does wrong on his friends or the people around him like his Teachers or even me his Mother. -cheat during exam time at the age of 7. (Lucky he stop this already as he is not bad in his studies because I force him to study Everyday after school as he don’t pay attention in class) -homework anyhow do if not don’t do during student care. -at 6 years old wanted to kick a sick/injured pigeon down the canal (thankful I stopped him) -he see people do he also must do and because of this he cause my closes Friend dog to fracture her hind legs. (He does not think about his limits but only things about what he want to do) -takes advantage of my kindness towards him as my partner is even more strict then me. He is not afraid of me hence he misbehave around me. These are the few main problems I can think of. We have try to change him for the pass 3-4 years but he only gets worst. Methods that have been used: -reward system (he ends up still misbehaving but hide from us instead of behaving to the extent of lying) -words of encouragement (he will take you seriously and misbehave) -let him experience natural consequences (it does not bother him a single bit) -guide him through an event (he only does it when you are with him and he is back on his old ways once no one is looking) -taking away things he enjoys (does not bother him at all) -explaining to him on everything and I make sure he understands -let him knows that I’m very unhappy with his behaviour when he behaves and I treat him good again his nonsense will start again. -punishment Am I doing all wrong? I’ve tried counselling but it did not help.

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I am sorry to hear that. It is a tough thing you are facing, and as you said, you have tried out everything. It looks like he is angry about something, or angry with someone deep down. Maybe he is finding it tough to cope with the studies or the way things are taught at school. Talk to him and ask if there is anything or anyone who bothers him. Assure him that you are on his side. Changing behaviour takes a long time, but identifying the problem is the key here. I know you have tried counselling, but if you can talk to a Psychiatrist who specialises on childhood behavioural issues, it might help you out. All the best sister.

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If I were you, I would try out caning. But nowadays, I understand parents prefer not to cane their kids. I do not think caning is abuse if you are not caning out of anger but rather to discipline the child that when they do something wrong, they have to receive a punishment. I would also let him participate in a physical activity that can tire him out, perhaps swimming or badminton.

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Hi. I have been working with children with special needs, including ADHD. I would document his misbehaviour and if it escalates, I would suggest you seek help from child guidance clinic in IMH. You can get a referral from polyclinic. They have a team of clinical Psychologists, medical social worker, doctor, occupational therapist. He may need professional interventions.

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