Hi i need to rant about my husband . I find him very selfish and lazy. Our relationship went downhill so much after having a baby. Firstly it all started on the first night I came home from hospital. The confinement lady told him to get somethings and instead of going out in the day to buy he went out around midnight and took the chance to have supper with his friends and shop at ntuc . I had a c sect so I needed someone to help me up to pump milk and he wasn't around. After that in the first few months he will often sleep until noon even though our baby wakes at 8am. As we sleep with air con on, when I need to bathe the baby I need to move the baby to another room to change her. I tried to endure at first and hope he will change on his own but of course he did not. So I told him my frustrations. I think he did change in terms of waking a bit earlier to help. But he still sleeps late. It is not as if he helps a lot in the day or wakes at night to help me feed baby but yet he still wakes up after me and takes nap as and when during the day. He is permanently sleeping if I allow him to. Once a week I let our baby stay over at his mom's place so that we have some me time. He will arrange many activities during this one day and then I won't have time to do my chores like pack baby's stuffs or wash her things. If he help out maybe it is better but once baby is not around he will go back to his usual sleeping habit. He says he wants me time with me but he wakes up so late everyday and if we go out with friends where is the me time? We didn't even have any intimacy for a long time. Every time I am online searching for deals for diapers and wet wipes he is snoring away. But when it comes to arranging sessions to eat and play with his friends he takes the initiative I am so sick of him!!!

Anonymous

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If he has been working in a different time zone I think that it is only fair that he sleep a lot because he needs to get over jet lag and if that is his usual lifestyle then it is hard to change just because he is suppose to be more active. I think that u think that there is a lot of unfairness since the time u were pregnant and all these small things are culminating to create this big explosion. If u look carefully all these things are not VERY important. It just requires some thrashing out and adjustments of expectations. Did u tell him what u expect of him? As a husband? As a father? Did he tell u what he expect of u? As a wife? As a mother? The answers are v v different and it's only through open communication and negotiation that it can be worked out. And not just talk. Talk plus a few times of trying to change. Don't expect overnight change. Any small small improvement is still improvement. Parenthood is very much just mother doing everything for the first several months. If ur husband helps at all, it is worthy of compliment even if it looks like "he should do it because I..." there is no such thing as who shld do what - this concept of fairness is a plain lie in marriage and parenthood There is only communication and compromise. If u are not ok w something, find the chance to say it soon and not wait for some miraculous enlightenment to befall on ur husband because man can be pretty thick in the head sometimes

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Home Random Talk i need rant about husband i find him very selfish lazy relationship went downhill much after having baby firstly started first night i came home from hospital confinement lady told him get somethings instead going out in day buy went out around midnight took chance have supper with friends shop ntuc i had c sect i needed someone help pump milk wasnt aroundafter that in first few months often sleep until noon though baby wakes 8am sleep with ai